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I vote according to camera placement, not campaign promises or party affiliation.

Bob Filner's sudden heave-ho didn't leave much time for mayoral hopefuls to stage their palace revolutions. A rush job is one thing, but David Alvarez's crack PR team literally spent no time at all throwing together what could be the most effective political commercial ever staged...were the legal voting age 18 months.

A kid playing with building blocks -- I'll bet anything the tyke's last name begins with Alvarez -- and a toy squad car as a metaphor for our town in the hands of this mayoral wannabe.

Insiders have narrowed his list of running mates to Fisher and Price.

Suddenly an ass-grabbing, granny-tonguing reptilian looks good. Seriously, have you ever seen a more patronizing, sing-songy load of pablum in your life? Is this a political tool aimed at garnering votes or a sleep aid for toddlers who have difficulty lapsing into a coma while watching Barney?

According to the schoolmarm's narration, Alvarez will invest in vital services like police, fire, parks, and libraries. WOW! What next? Taking a strong stand in favor of retrieving stray cats from trees? Vowing to help more old ladies across the street?

If David Alvarez's goal was to land a spot producing shows for the KPBS-TV daytime lineup, congratulations on a job well done. As for your mayoral chances, Dave, have you considered a future with KPBS?

Reader Rating: Zero Stars

Rated G

Running Time: 30 seconds

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monaghan Oct. 11, 2013 @ 5:34 p.m.

Gosh, Scott, you really know how to hurt a good candidate! Let's just say David's better than the ad. The "ass-grabbing, granny-tonguing reptilian" WAS good, but he's history and I'm told we have to move on.


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