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Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Steven Seagal impose martial (arts) law

Following the elementary school massacre in Newtown, Conn. that left 20 first-graders and six teachers dead, tough talking Sheriff Joe Arpaio has had it up to here with gun violence.

Arizona's self-styled "America's Toughest Sheriff" is sending a strong message to gun-toting lunatics out to murder and destroy. He's enlisting the services of Steven Seagal, 60, to arm a civilian "posse" and train them in the martial arts.

What a brilliant deterrent to crime! Why not call it "Bring a Puffy, Over-the-Hill American Action Star to School Day?"

Chuck Norris' phone must have been off the hook when Arpaio called.

According to the Associated Press, the 'actor' "led a class of 48 posse members on the appropriate response to single- and multiple-shooter scenarios, room-to-room entry tactics and hand-to-hand combat techniques."

None

Seagal said: "I am here to try to teach the posse firearms and martial arts to try to help them learn how to respond quicker and help protect our children."

It was the first time in decades his words didn't go direct to home video.

The scenario played out Saturday at a closed school site in suburban Fountain Hills, outside Phoenix. Sheriff's SWAT members were cast as the lead gunmen while teenagers were employed as background extras.

"He’s making a mockery out of it. You’re having a movie actor train people how to protect schools?” Arizona Democratic House Minority Leader Chad Campbell said to the AP.

In his defense, Arpaio originally wanted someone who can fly, but Henry Cavill, star of the upcoming Zack Snyder Superman reboot, was unavailable.

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Following the elementary school massacre in Newtown, Conn. that left 20 first-graders and six teachers dead, tough talking Sheriff Joe Arpaio has had it up to here with gun violence.

Arizona's self-styled "America's Toughest Sheriff" is sending a strong message to gun-toting lunatics out to murder and destroy. He's enlisting the services of Steven Seagal, 60, to arm a civilian "posse" and train them in the martial arts.

What a brilliant deterrent to crime! Why not call it "Bring a Puffy, Over-the-Hill American Action Star to School Day?"

Chuck Norris' phone must have been off the hook when Arpaio called.

According to the Associated Press, the 'actor' "led a class of 48 posse members on the appropriate response to single- and multiple-shooter scenarios, room-to-room entry tactics and hand-to-hand combat techniques."

None

Seagal said: "I am here to try to teach the posse firearms and martial arts to try to help them learn how to respond quicker and help protect our children."

It was the first time in decades his words didn't go direct to home video.

The scenario played out Saturday at a closed school site in suburban Fountain Hills, outside Phoenix. Sheriff's SWAT members were cast as the lead gunmen while teenagers were employed as background extras.

"He’s making a mockery out of it. You’re having a movie actor train people how to protect schools?” Arizona Democratic House Minority Leader Chad Campbell said to the AP.

In his defense, Arpaio originally wanted someone who can fly, but Henry Cavill, star of the upcoming Zack Snyder Superman reboot, was unavailable.

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Comments
6

Chuck Norris called. He needs the work.

Feb. 11, 2013

If it was anything like this demonstration of Seagal's "skills" with a mixed-martial artist, woe to the next person who tries anything under Sheriff Joe's watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zVhPoP5WiY

Feb. 13, 2013

seagull is a legend in his own mind. If the guy were not 6'4 everyone would be mopping the street with his face everyday of the week......

Feb. 13, 2013

And his obesity and toupee are not helping him.

Feb. 13, 2013

You're so jealous, Surf!

Feb. 14, 2013

LOL!....No, I am actually a fan, but his ego needs to be checked!

Feb. 14, 2013

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