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Short Takes: Shark Night 3D

Here's what the capsule will say:

Hilarious: this is a film in which the bad guys plan to capitalize on the popularity of The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week by selling “the hardcore shit,” i.e., video of sharks actually eating people. But the film itself is tame enough to pick up a PG-13 rating. Even more hilarious: a noble black man wading into the water while brandishing an honest-to-jungle spear and saying, “West Baltimore rules: they take out one of yours, you take out one of theirs.” The 3D tiger shark is, however, momentarily scary. 2011.

Black spot.

Beyond that -- not that anyone asked me to go beyond that -- I will say that the acting was passable, as was much of the dialogue. The bad guys made the interesting choice of playing it relatively low-key -- nothin' to get worked up about, jes' doin' some creepy snuff filming down here in the South. The characterizations were lazy, sure, but all those people were just gonna get fed to sharks, anyway. It's enough that we sympathize with the pretty blonde. What really tore this film into awful, bloody chunks was the dull direction, the gimmicky camera work, and the limp-synth score.

Enjoy your weekend!

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Here's what the capsule will say:

Hilarious: this is a film in which the bad guys plan to capitalize on the popularity of The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week by selling “the hardcore shit,” i.e., video of sharks actually eating people. But the film itself is tame enough to pick up a PG-13 rating. Even more hilarious: a noble black man wading into the water while brandishing an honest-to-jungle spear and saying, “West Baltimore rules: they take out one of yours, you take out one of theirs.” The 3D tiger shark is, however, momentarily scary. 2011.

Black spot.

Beyond that -- not that anyone asked me to go beyond that -- I will say that the acting was passable, as was much of the dialogue. The bad guys made the interesting choice of playing it relatively low-key -- nothin' to get worked up about, jes' doin' some creepy snuff filming down here in the South. The characterizations were lazy, sure, but all those people were just gonna get fed to sharks, anyway. It's enough that we sympathize with the pretty blonde. What really tore this film into awful, bloody chunks was the dull direction, the gimmicky camera work, and the limp-synth score.

Enjoy your weekend!

Image

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