"We're reporting live from Super Bowl MMXXVIII, and it's a beautiful day under the Coronado Bridge here on the bay at the Chase-Spanos Stadium..!!

"That's right Barry, and I just want to remark on how generous the taxpayers of all San Diego were to build football this engineering marvel!"

"Yes, Dianne, it's the only stadium of it's kind in the world, entirely suspended on stilts over the remains of what once was the San Diego cargo industry."

"Oh, look, the Jets and the Chiefs are running onto the field, Barry. They seem to be adjusting their running as the stadium sways in the San Diego coastal breeze. Will that affect the game?"

"We'll see, Dianne."

"Well, it sure has had an affect on the crowd, as the stadium is swaying they seem to be moving along with it...sort of like a wave."

"Are they doing the wave? It seems the crowd is actually running for the exits, making the swaying motion stronger."

"Well, that seems to have the referee's attention. He's waving his arms toward the exits and blowing the whistle. Seems to be a pause in the...wait, the crowd is now being pushed past the ramps and onto the balcony overlooking the bay..."

"They're jumping!"

"blucking blit that's...um, excuse me viewers, yes, the spectators are being pushed off the edge of the stadium, and into the water below....no, they're also landing on the concrete."

"Oh, blit!"

"Calm down, Dianne. The stadium is probably supposed to sway that way, especially when the crowds go a bit wild in anticipation of a big game."

"NO, Barry! This is real. I'm getting out of here while I can."

(Off camera. "Get the bluck out! It's falling!")

"Uh...well, Dianne. It's a big game...but it looks like we'll have to disappoint our 3D viewers out there as we seem to..."

"Aaaaaaaaaaah! I'm gonna die!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaah! Holy blit! Run! No!"

(...signal interrupted)

More like this:


historymatters Nov. 2, 2008 @ 4:17 p.m.

Nice. You should really be writing screen plays.


Fred Williams Nov. 2, 2008 @ 4:33 p.m.

I'm just surprised by the new server software that converts multiple asterisks into null text.

That means I have to convert my naughty words like the four asterisk, "****" into "blit" or "4uck".

I've already cleaned up my language and refrain from naughty words, and now they've taken my beloved asterisks away.

Makes it difficult to format my posts...but I shall soldier on without bullets or swear word surrogates.


Fred "Muthafuka with a digital @i2d" Williams


Josh Board Nov. 3, 2008 @ 1:55 a.m.

I liked this piece. Blits included. It reminded me of the football term "blitz"


Fred Williams Nov. 3, 2008 @ 3:07 p.m.

Gloria: Please don't slap me any more, you know I love you and I'll do anything for you. Why do you treat me this way?

Developer: Shut up Gloria, just be a good bottom and do what you're told. I paid for you, now you work for me. I'm taking you into the council chambers now...

Gloria: Oh, why did I ever leave my principles behind...mother!

Developer: Knock off your whining, it's time to shake your money maker.

Council President: The meeting will come to order....

Gloria: I vote YES to the new condos! Give a subsidy to my top developer.

Gloria: I vote YES to privatizing Balboa Park! Give away the citizens' property to top corporations.

Gloria: I vote YES to bailing out top developers downtown! They need help from the taxpayers.

Gloria: I vote NO to any more audits or corruption investigations! We need to save money.

Council President: This meeting is adjourned, the next meeting will be held when the developers tell us and will be about whatever they want us to do for them. Have a nice day.


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