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Paradise Plundered tells San Diego story

When the authors show up for a book signing, I'll buy a copy. Don Bauder, I always like your insights, and this is no different. But I have to ask, why does everybody I meet outside of San Diego have such a damned good impression of San Diego? I travel for a living. That is, I'm an engineer, who travels the country (and occasionally the globe) for my job. People always ask "So, where are you out of?' When I say San Diego, (never just California), they usually smile. Everyone that has been here says how they really like San Diego. The only constant negative is 'it costs too much'. I remind them that only the housing that costs too much. Everything else is the same as the rest of the state. They don't argue. But, my issue is, what are we lacking that other places have? Parks? Bike trails? Good Schools? What? And, do we have high crime? Poor emergency services? I travel to places where, in urban areas, you can drive mile after mile without seeing a shopping center, a neighborhood grocery store, or decent restaurant. Something in San Diego must be right, besides the mild weather, to make it so, well, attractive to others. I don't disagree that plundering may have been done by officials. What I'd like to hear is, two things. (1) Where is it better (with the same climate); and (2) what precise things have we been denied from this plundering? Tell me what others have, that we don't. Be specific. And don't say police and fire funding. That's too general.
— September 12, 2011 8:40 p.m.

San Diego dating service doesn't satisfy

Hey Surfpuppy619. Are you single, or married, or maybe even divorced? I'm married. Did it only once. And I'm not tall, and I have almost no hair on top, and I struggle with my weight, as does my wife. I agree, if I were single again, I wouldn't look for someone much younger than me, and I'd be realistic about weight. But, how about the women of my generation? Actually, I really do like most of your comments on most subjects, and I agree that some of my statements came off as absolutes, which I usually try to avoid. That is, I try to never say never, or always. I was just remembering going through the profiles on that old dating service where I met my mate, and being amazed that so many men found various ways of saying 'not fat' for their ideal date, and so many women were adamant about 'tall', for theirs. Now, women don't seem to dwell on the physical as much as men, in theory. But, if height was (or is) as important to women (as the article emphasizes), then I submit the illogic of that choice. That is, can you make yourself thinner, or taller. Of course, you can lose weight. Sure it's hard. Look at 'Biggest Loser'. But can you get taller? How? But, that was the most common physical attribute the women required of their dates, as far as I can remember. I think the whole gist of what I was trying to say, is that American women from my generation were, and are, unrealistic. And they paid for it. I swear, in my generation (boomers, I'll admit), I put up with so much flack from American women, I gave up. So I married someone from another culture, another country,(although she was already here legally, as a resident). Look at this article from this week's Time Magazine. What have American women gained, for all their hoopla? http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,20… I wish them all they have earned.
— June 13, 2011 10:53 p.m.

San Diego dating service doesn't satisfy

I liked the perspective of this story, being mostly female insight. I wish I had some of the money these services get. Having personally been the subject of a one page dating service horror story published in the Reader back in the late 80s, I think I can appreciate this walk down dating service memory lane. I joined more than one back then. Some of them worked, some didn't. I also just celebrated my 21st anniversary with my dating-service met wife. We don't even think about how we met. Because the service we joined let each member choose their own dates, from photos, and videos. When I was looking for a partner/lover/lifemate I spent a bit of time researching. One fact stood out above all others. At that time (and according to previous decades census data I looked up, BEFORE the internet), San Diego has a skewed male vs female ratio, way heavy on the male side, in every datable age group under 65. It had the highest imbalance of any city in the US, at that time. In fact, there was NO city in the US with a similar high female vs male ratio. Closest was Pittsburg. And don't blame the military. I think the census counts military members in their home district. That just makes it worse. I laugh at the fact that there are now 'introduction' type services in airline magazines, advertised on the TV, ect. All of them still have that same basic concept, let someone else choose for you. That's wrong, from my perspective and experience. If there's anything I learned, it's best to make your own choices, even the first date. Don't let another person, even a claimed 'professional' choose for you. I'd like to think the internet had eliminated these type of chosen introduction scams, but idiocy still exists. And yes, men will always want someone young, and thin (or at least not fat). And women will always want someone tall, with hair, and monetarily secure. Women can't control their age, and men can't control their height. Everybody has to be more reasonable. With the availablity of the internet and cheap travel, US men have the world to choose from. I don't know what US women have, in turn. But, having now traveled to four continents, the one statement I've heard from women outside the US, in modern developed countries and poorer ones, is that US women are unrealistic in their mating requirements (in other words, stuck up, arrogant). By the way, my wife was not born in the US, but she went to school here and I met her here. And her family lives here, are citizens. And she's within 2 years of my age. And she, like me, struggles with her weight. And I love her atitudes, and her family. After meeting her, I was convinced to give up on US born ladies of my own age group. I think the US born ladies of my age group are a lost generation. Sorry, just experience.
— June 9, 2011 9:31 a.m.

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