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jayallen's avatar

Jay Allen Sanford

Jay Allen Sanford is a Reader contributor. See staff page for published articles.

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..ATOT...

The POST is unreadable - the "thread," with only two comments so far, is fine. MentalTwist, if possible, please repost withOUT margin/em and text/courier codes. Entering straight text sans code will automatically conform layout to the site template.
— April 27, 2010 8:36 p.m.

A Most Exceptional Duck

Our duck friends CAN be stinky, but you can reduce their, um, emissions - feeding them lots of legumes and beans, to help solidify their waste. Rock hard food like bird seed requires much more stomach enzymes and digestive breakdown, hence more stinkyness. Also, keeping their "pond" mobile and easy to drain can make all the difference. Note Bilbo's wading pool (with his rubber girlfriend floating nearby) and metal bucket-bath - dump 'n' refill every day. (NEVER bathe with a duck, tho - they tend to poop as soon as they hit the water!) Bilbo really did raise several abandoned kittens - he taught them to eat like him, so it was funny as hell to see cats pecking their food! Not to mention the wacky sight of kittens following the duck around the yard in a straight line, just like ducklings...I still know two of those cats, now full grown, and they still peck their food -----
— April 27, 2010 8:29 p.m.

Up in Smoke

"Gas masks are advised" - indeed! It's no secret that Cheech and Chong movies always brought out a crowd who tended to change the air quality of the theater in a way that undercover police (but never fellow patrons!) objected to. And yet, for years and years, you could find Up In Smoke playing SOMEwhere in SD every weekend, either at the drive-ins as a backup feature or at downtown's all-night grindhouse row theaters (Casino, Aztec, Bijou, Tower, Gilded Cage, Cabrillo, Plaza, etc.) Then, it was all over the midnight movie scene (Fine Arts, Unicorn, Academy, Strand, Roxy, Ken, La Paloma, et al). So why would so many theater operator openly invite crowds almost guaranteed to conduct blatantly illegal activities on their premises? Duh - 'cause snack bar sales would quadruple!!!
— April 26, 2010 9:55 p.m.

None

Downtown's long-gone all-night grindhouse the Casino Theater (now a chocolate shop) screened Walter Hill’s surreal fantasy when it debuted in 1979. It ran constantly over the next year, first as the headliner and then a backup feature. Concerning colorful teenage gangs waging war in a fictionalized New York City underworld, everyone in the theater always chanted along with the villain when he taunts the “good guys,” over and over, in an annoyingly sharp nasal whine, “Warriors, come out and play! Warriors, come out and PLAY-YAY!!!” When the Warriors finally did indeed come out to play, the subsequent brain-bashing was always greeted with a collective cheer loud and sustained enough to nearly bring down the half-century old roof.
— April 26, 2010 10:41 a.m.

A Most Exceptional Duck

Thanks! I've heard of hotels and resorts who employ ducks and geese. I have a friend who swears her goose is the best watchdog she's ever had, but that it's very gentle with her and family members - no harm, go fowl!
— April 26, 2010 9:46 a.m.

Dark Star

Sure, the spacesuits are made from muffin trays, and the monster is an ambulatory beach ball, but the whole mechanical-interface-with-the-dead premise is straight out of Philip K. Dick. Both Carpenter and O'Bannon would go on to do much better (and much worse) movies --
— April 25, 2010 7:38 p.m.

None

Frank Miller stories make great comic books - I cite his run on Daredevil and his Dark Night Returns mini-series by way of proof. Frank Miller stories make AWFUL movies - Robocop 2, 300, the Spirit, and now this astonishingly failed attempt to adapt his own hardboiled retrocomic to the screen. Somebody please buy Miller a pile of Bristol boards and some new brushes, and take away his MotionBox edit software....
— April 25, 2010 12:30 p.m.

A Most Exceptional Duck

All true! The duck was newly born, but grownup ducks in the pond were killing all the babies - some kind of overpopulation frenzy, but this one baby duck escaped, ran up the bank, hopped onto Heather's shoe, and yelled up at her "PEEP!" She happened to work at a tourist shop called Waddles, selling duck stuff - so she brought the duck to work with her. In a basket, on the back of our scooter. Tourists would buy cracked corn to feed the "shop duck" ---- BTW, one of my missions in life is to inform people to please NOT feed bread to ducks!! It's very bad for them - the bread swells up in their belly and they can't eat anything else for awhile, but bread has zero nutrition that ducks can process, so they can actually die of malnourishment and/or starvation from eating too much bread! Instead, feed ducks chicken scratch, or cracked corn, long grain rice (not white), or softened beans (Bilbo grew up on cooked lentils, and he grew to be HUGE). We used to go to Chinese restaurants and ask "Do you serve duck?" If they said yes, we'd bring the duck in from the car and order a plate of broccoli for him. This was funny the first few times, until we grew unnerved by the way the restaurant owners would stare at him with hungry expressions, saying "My, he's a FAT one, isn't he?" We used to travel cross country with the duck in a cat carrier - he even saw a Vegas show with us! Funny when people looked in the container, expecting a cat, only to get quacked at. BTW, it's really hard to sneak a duck into hotel rooms. As soon as we'd put the water in the tub and put him in there, he'd start quacking and stomping around and having so much fun that everyone in the vicinity knew he was there....we may have been responsible for the first-ever institution of the Days Inn "Duck Deposit" fee....
— April 25, 2010 11:05 a.m.

The Spirit

Frank Miller stories make great comic books - I cite his run on Daredevil and his Dark Night Returns mini-series by way of proof. Frank Miller stories make AWFUL movies - Robocop 2, 300, Sin City, and now this astonishingly failed attempt to adapt Will Eisner's iconic comic to the screen. Somebody please buy Miller a pile of Bristol boards and some new brushes, and take away his MotionBox edit software......
— April 25, 2010 10:50 a.m.

Beatle Busted in SD!, Missing Musician Alert: Erick Wales, Locals in the Comix, WTF Albums, more

If you only knew........this is ALL I DO. Write, draw, eat, sleep, repeat....
— April 24, 2010 10:10 a.m.

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Chris Ahrens Ian Anderson Thomas K. Arnold Eric Bartl Don Bauder Ed Bedford Siobhan Braun Robert Bush Chad Deal Joe Deegan Barbarella Fokos Leorah Gavidor Dave Good Marty Graham Moss Gropen Andrew Hamlin Dorian Hargrove Garrett Harris Ken Harrison Patrick Henderson Tam Hoang Eve Kelly Dryw Keltz Eva Knott Thomas Larson Ken Leighton Matthew Lickona Mike Madriaga Bill Manson Scott Marks Bob McPhail Walter Mencken Joseph O'Brien Sheila Pell Ian Pike Matt Potter H.G. Reza Dave Rice Elizabeth Salaam Jay Allen Sanford Julie Stalmer DJ Stevens Matthew Suárez Amanda Tascher
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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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Chris Ahrens Ian Anderson Thomas K. Arnold Eric Bartl Don Bauder Ed Bedford Siobhan Braun Robert Bush Chad Deal Joe Deegan Barbarella Fokos Leorah Gavidor Dave Good Marty Graham Moss Gropen Andrew Hamlin Dorian Hargrove Garrett Harris Ken Harrison Patrick Henderson Tam Hoang Eve Kelly Dryw Keltz Eva Knott Thomas Larson Ken Leighton Matthew Lickona Mike Madriaga Bill Manson Scott Marks Bob McPhail Walter Mencken Joseph O'Brien Sheila Pell Ian Pike Matt Potter H.G. Reza Dave Rice Elizabeth Salaam Jay Allen Sanford Julie Stalmer DJ Stevens Matthew Suárez Amanda Tascher
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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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