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The Little One
Congratulations on your little addition to the family! Lets hope she never learns to roll over ;-)— May 8, 2008 10:16 p.m.
An Open Letter to American Babies
Happy Birthday King, when my Baby can read, she will read this...— May 8, 2008 10:04 p.m.
Armchair Obstetrician
That's the cutest baby I've ever seen!!!— February 25, 2008 7:20 p.m.
The Reader's Eye on Television
Legendary...— February 25, 2008 7:34 a.m.
The Ass Beating List
Everyone I see practically says to me, "Please crack my head in for my own sake." They don't say it in those words, no. They say it in other ways, like in the way they dress, but I hear them. And I heed their cries. I'd be a bastard if I didn't! Story of my life: Mom: Oh, Johan, you look so cute in your suspenders! Mom's head: Crack! Dad: Johan, life isn't always going to be easy. Dad's head: Crack! Me: Maybe you shouldn't go around cracking people's heads in all the time. My head: Crack! Cracking heads in is the only image I can, or will ever, comprehend. It is the single action which resonates sensibly within the rhythm of this world. Hopes are dashed! Heads are cracked! Of course you don't understand! Which is why your head needs to be cracked in! You do understand? Are you among the kindred? Then your head needs to be cracked in even harder, friend.— February 21, 2008 8:11 p.m.