Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed
Big Screen — Movie commentary
Blurt — Music's inside track
Booze News — San Diego spirits
Classical Music — Immortal beauty
Classifieds — Free and easy
Cover Stories — Front-page features
Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes
Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts
Feast! — Food & drink reviews
Feature Stories — Local news & stories
Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore
From the Archives — Spotlight on the past
Golden Dreams — Talk of the town
The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it
Letters — Our inbox
Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites
Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans
Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists
Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news
News Ticker — News & politics
Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated
Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna
Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated
Poetry — The old and the new
Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers
Reading — The hunt for intellectuals
Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails
San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds
SD on the QT — Almost factual news
Sheep and Goats — Places of worship
Special Issues — The best of
Street Style — San Diego streets have style
Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves
Theater — On stage in San Diego this week
Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative
Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work
Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego
Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads
Your Week — Daily event picks
Happy Tummy
Hi. David (Barbarella’s husband) here. As Barbarella mentioned in her column, I was a vegetarian for seven years. I understand how difficult it can be to try to maintain the veggie lifestyle in such a carnicentric society. I remember once having gone to a Mexican restaurant north of Boston and seeing “Ask your server to see our vegetarian menu” printed along the bottom. Hallelujah. So, our server brings me their vegetarian menu and I quickly note that 11 of the 12 items on the menu are made with chicken. Well, normally I’m a pretty mild-mannered, just-let-it-roll-off-my-back kind of guy, but that day I must have been feeling my oats. I get the attention of our server and when she comes over I say, “I’m sorry, but exactly on which plant does your chicken grow?” Defiantly, she puts her fists on her hips, draws herself up in a huff, then points to another table across the room and says, “Well, those people are vegetarian and they’re eating chicken!” Was I being snarky? Yes. But I felt I was entitled in this case because the restaurant specifically advertised a “vegetarian” menu. Had they not offered that option, I would have worked my way around the menu to find something I could eat without making a fuss. I understand, respect and sympathize with vegetarians, vegans and anyone else that is trying to live what they believe is a better life. I assure you that Barbarella is of the same mind. Regardless of whatever lifestyle choices you may have made – eat meat, don’t eat meat, religious or not, children, no children, pro-choice, anti-abortion, Democrat or Republican, etc. – we are absolutely cool with it and respect your choices so long as you don’t try to tell us how we should live our lives or preach to us about how our lifestyle choices are somehow wrong and misinformed. continued in next comment...— April 10, 2009 12:10 p.m.
UCSD pays for trans-species project.
Micha, I understand that you were excited about the prospect of appearing on television to talk about your story and that when that did not come to pass you suffered some very serious disappointment. For that, I feel for you and you have my sympathy. However, having seen the segment on KUSI I have a couple of observations and thoughts. First, though I understand that you would have liked to be able to talk about your story, the fact that KUSI decided not to interview you is not "discrimination". You were not turned down for a job for which you applied, nor did they malign you on the show. They are free to have whomever they wish on their programs. The fact that they do not wish to interview me about my artwork (I am an artist) doesn't make them discriminatory against artists. Actually, what I saw on the program was that you got the publicity for your performance art that I would love to have for my own work! Secondly, you accused KUSI of being homophobic for not having you on. As I understand it, homophobia would be relating to one's sexuality, but transgenderism has nothing to do with sexuality -- it has to do with gender identification. There are straight transgender people and gay transgender people -- one has nothing to do with the other -- so I am wondering why you included that in your letter. Again, I understand you disappointment, and it really sucks when we get let down after having been excited and looking forward to something. I would have liked to hear you speak about your story. However, as much of a missed opportunity this may have been for KUSI, they did not actually discriminate against you. To the contrary, they gave you some nice, free publicity that many of us would kill for. Best wishes to you, I can't imagine that dealing with these issues on a daily basis can be easy.— March 29, 2009 5:55 p.m.
Do Right
Not to belabor the point happymom, but the issue is not about Barbarella's sympathy for her mother. It is about someone else forging her name on a card when she specifically directed otherwise. Common decency dictates that this is something one should not do.— February 5, 2009 3:08 p.m.
Do Right
Ms Grant, happymom and Sarah: I agree that expressions of sympathy are for the living, not the deceased. I don't know why you would think that Barbarella doesn't care enough about her mother to comfort her in her time of grief, as seems to be implied by your comments. Barb cares very much about her mother's feelings and grief. She counsels, comforts and consoles her mother in many ways that a communal fruit basket never could, and she was in communication with her mother during this difficult time. It doesn't matter whether someone thinks it would have been "no sweat off her back" or the "right" thing for Barb to do. Just because her way of offering comfort is not the way that you might choose, does not make your way the only correct approach, nor does it make Barbarella wrong for choosing a different option. Everyone has the right to reach out in whatever way they feel is most appropriate. Barb expresses her sympathy and care in other ways. In this case, however, what was wrong was for Heather and Jenny to disregard Barbarella's expressed wishes. Barb asked that her name not be signed and Heather and Jenny did so anyway, when Barb's name was not theirs to sign.— February 5, 2009 2:17 p.m.
Do Right
Heather, How dare you presume to tell Barb how she should behave based on how you think she "really feels." I happen to know for a fact just how much Barb edited herself out of respect for her mother. What she didn't include in her next column about her visit to the emergency room is that it turned out to be the stress of this tragic situation that sent her there. Barb never said that she was not supposed to care -- in fact, she admitted she felt she was "supposed" to, but that she didn't. She reported the facts. In this case the facts are that while other people such as yourself and Jenny had the audacity to suggest to Barb what she should, or should not be feeling (for your Mom or otherwise) or should or should not do, she was struggling with her own very personal and very real emotions which you obviously care nothing about. You are probably also unaware that Barb spent heart-wrenching hours on the phone with your Mom trying to help her sort out her emotions while I was researching airline fares on the internet for her. The truth of the situation in which you were involved was that Jane asked Barb if she wanted to chip in to send a fruit basket. For personal reasons that you cannot possibly understand, Barb said no. Yet, despite Barb's very specific directive to not include her, her name was signed to the card, because you and Jenny thought that it was "the right thing to do." I offer this analogy, by way of explanation: Suppose I thought that women should not be allowed to vote (which, of course, is not true but merely used here for the sake of analogy) and there was a petition circulating among my sexist friends to that effect. I call you up and say, "Hey Heather, would you like to sign this petition to take the right to vote away from women?" You say, "No. I don't want to be a part of that." However, I think you are wrong. I think that you should oppose allowing women to vote -- I think it's the RIGHT thing to do and that you are wrong -- so I sign your name to the petition anyway. Would you be o.k. with that? The truth of the situation is that Barb cares very deeply about her family. She cares about you, Jenny, Jane, your Mom and your Dad -- more than you can possibly know. Not a day goes by that family is not at the forefront of her mind. She loves you all very much. However, in this particular case, she didn't have a relationship with your grandfather. You may have had a different relationship with him, one that inspired you to express your condolences, but Barb would have felt awkward and disingenuous pretending that she did, which is why she asked that her name not be signed. And I think the fact that her wishes were ignored was incredibly insensitive and disrespectful.— February 4, 2009 10:46 p.m.
Lollipop Guild
Senor Gringo, so then are you suggesting that a Christian's version of honesty would be to tell children that they could die at any given moment for no apparent reason and that the World could get hit by an asteroid and that nuclear bombs could be launched at the snap of a finger and wipe out all of humanity AND they could burn in Hell for all eternity if they screw up?— February 4, 2009 8:54 a.m.
Tele-Visiting
Beigli (Hungarian walnut pastry/cookies) Pastry 4 cups all-purpose flour 1 pound lightly-salted butter 1/2 cup milk, warm (but not hot) 1 tablespoon sugar 1 package dry yeast (or 1 cube) 3 egg yolks 3 tablespoons sour cream 1 egg, well beaten powdered sugar to sprinkle Walnut Filling 1 1/2 cup sugar 6 tablespoons white wine 2 pounds walnuts, chopped medium 1 1/2 tablespoons lemon zest (or grated lemon peel) 3 tablespoons apricot jam 3 tablespoons orange marmalade 1/2 cup golden raisins Combine sugar and wine and bring to a boil; pour over all the other filling ingredients and mix well. Instructions: For pastry, put flour in a large bowl and cut in butter with a fork, pastry blender or food processor, until the size of peas. Make a well in the center and add warm milk, sugar, and yeast. Mix the milk, sugar, and yeast well until the yeast dissolves (do not incorporate the flour yet). Let stand for 10 minutes or until bubbles appear in the yeast mixture. Add egg yolks and sour cream. Mix until ingredients come together. Turn dough onto a lightly floured board and knead until smooth. Cover with a towel and let stand for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, cut the dough into 4 sections. Roll out each one, one at a time, on a lightly- floured board, until rectangular, and roughly the size of a placemat (or a little smaller). Cover each of the 4 rolled-out pastry with 1/4 of the filling. Spread the filling out to about 1 1/2 inches from the shorter edges of the pastry, 1 1/2 inches from one of the long edges, and about 3 inches from the other long edge. Fold the 1 1/2 inch long edge over onto the filling. Now fold the 1 1/2 inch short edges in towards the center of the pastry, so that the filling will not come out the ends when the pastry is baked. Continue to fold (or roll) the long edge of the pastry over onto itself until the whole thing is rolled up like a towel. When all rolled up, place pastry on a cookie sheet, and pat down a little to form a slightly flatter pastry (i.e. not round). Brush the pastry with beaten egg, and with a knife, make about 8 half-inch cuts in the top of the pastry. Allow to stand for 20 minutes then brush again with egg. Bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for 45-60 minutes (or until done, i.e. cake-like, not doughy inside). If the top starts getting too dark (before the center is done) you can lay a piece of aluminum foil on top of the rolls to stop the top from browning further. When cool, slice thinly, (3/8 inch slices are good) and sprinkle with powdered sugar. After baking, the beigli can be kept in a plastic bag in the refrigerator (if it lasts that long!), or in foil and a plastic bag in the freezer for several months.— August 17, 2008 11:10 a.m.
Tele-Visiting
Thanks for the nice compliment Ponzi, but I have to admit that I feel a bit guilty accepting it for a recipe that uses Duncan Hines Cake Mix and Jello pudding. So, just to make myself feel better, here are a couple of other recipes for you. :) Snowball Cookies Ingredients 3/4 cup unsalted butter (that’s 1 1/2 sticks of butter) 1/2 cup of sugar 1 egg 2 tsp. vanilla (the real stuff, not the imitation crap) 2 cups of unbleached all-purpose flour (I like King Arthur brand) 1/2 tsp. salt 2 cups of shelled walnuts (they can be already chopped, but they don’t have to be) 1/2 cup powdered confectioner’s sugar Directions Preheat an oven to 350 degrees and adjust your oven racks so there is one in the middle. In a large mixing bowl, using an electric hand mixer on high, or an electric stand mixer, blend the butter, sugar, egg and vanilla until uniform and fluffy (about 5 minutes): Next, grate the walnuts using a nut grater (Mouli brand is ideal). If you don’t have a Mouli grater you could also use a blender or food processor to grind the nuts quite fine. Add the grated nuts, flour and salt to the fluffy butter, egg, sugar and vanilla. Mix with a wooden spoon until everything is mixed together and it looks like cookie dough. Take about 1 TBS. of the dough and roll it into a ball between your two palms and then place the ball on an ungreased cookie sheet. Continue until all the dough has been formed into balls. Bake cookies on the middle rack until pale golden brown (about 33 minutes in my oven). Remove cookies from oven and cool to room temperature (you can hasten the cooling by putting the cookies on a plate or in a plastic container in the freezer). Once cooled, place all the cookies in a gallon sized plastic ziploc bag and add the powdered sugar. Gently roll the bag around in your hands until the cookies are uniformly coated with the sugar. Store cookies in the freezer (eat them directly from the freezer).— August 17, 2008 11:09 a.m.
Tele-Visiting
Here you go Joaquin, enjoy! Pecan Bourbon Cake For the cake: 18.5 oz.pkg. Duncan Hines Golden Cake Mix (make sure to get "Golden" and not "Yellow" 3.4 oz. pkg. Jello brand Vanilla Pudding (NOT "Instant" pudding) 1 cup chopped pecans 4 eggs 1/2 cup bourbon 1/2 cup water 1/2 cup vegetable oil For the sauce: 1 cup sugar 1/4 cup water 1/4 cup bourbon Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Butter and flour a bundt cake pan - mine is about 10" in diameter. Sprinkle the nuts around the bottom of the pan. Mix all the cake ingredients together and pour into the pan on top of the nuts. Bake 1 hour. While the cake is baking, make the sauce by mixing the sauce ingredients together in a pot over medium heat until the sugar has melted. When the cake comes out of the oven, immediately pour the sauce over it while it is still in the pan. (If you want, you can use a wooden skewer or chopstick to poke holes in the cake to allow the sauce to reach deeper into the cake first, but I usually don't). Cool, and then remove pan by inverting cake onto a serving plate.— August 16, 2008 3:59 p.m.
Unchained Links
I agree with Barbarella that I would prefer that if the traditional tipping system is to be abandoned, then I would rather that all the high finances, tip percentages, and the distribution of wealth take place behind the scenes. As Barbarella said, instead of saying a dish costs $6 with fine print that informs you that an 18% gratuity will be added later, just charge me $7.20 for the dish (20% "gratuity" -- I know Barbarella's a big tipper with her 67% tip in her example above, but I think 20% is fine) and distribute the extra $1.20 to the staff behind the scenes, along with a statement like Barbarella suggests "We take pride in our work and do not accept tips". Such a system would psychologically make me feel MUCH better, even though it amounts to the same thing fiscally. I travel quite a bit and all of the small charges and surcharges really annoy me. I often say, "It's o.k. to dollar me, just don't nickel and dime me." by which I mean, add $15 or $20/night to the cost of my hotel room but give me "free" wi-fi, bottled water, maybe even some chocolates and a cookie. I would feel so much more positive about such an experience, whereas if I am charged $4.95 for a bottle of water in my room, and $9.95 for wi-fi, etc., it just sours my experience.— August 14, 2008 5:31 p.m.