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A Pleasure To Read

OH PS: Cuddle and refried, both having studied writing, you two must know that every beginning writer must write out a suicide-themed story. Mine had to do with an almost-not-but-perhaps-accidental-near-death: So this guy loses his job and his girlfriend in one day. He's always been a boring nebbish, and knows it--mainly why he loses job and girl. He can't speak up for himself. He goes to a convenience store, buys a big bottle, and drinks it in his car, driving without stopping all the way to Anza Borrego, to a lookout point he remembered visiting with his Boy Scout troupe. He maybe has a vague idea about jumping; sits in his car, and in the middle of the night, drunk, walks up slowly to the edge. Most of the story takes place during this slow walk, and his vivid recollection of how he became such a boring soul. The Scout leader is a real a-hole, and actually encourages the other boys to tease this guy. They stand in a line, all holding hands, to perform a kind of trust/courage exercise, which involves walking slowly to the edge of the cliff at the lookout point (the Carrizo badlands). They have to keep their eyes shut tight, think of the fact that they are walking toward a sheer drop of hundreds of feet, and focus on the voice of the Scout leader, trusting that he will tell them when to stop, and that it will be before they get to the edge, of course. It is also a game in which you purposefully lose a bit of equilibrium, and when you get near the edge, you are to suddenly open your eyes and take in the stunning view of the badlands below (I've done this, and it's cool). So this guy gets so psyched out by the slow, torturous walk to the edge that he wets his pants. When the Scoutmaster tells them to stop and open their eyes, all of the boys look at this guy, whose pants are visibly soaked. They laugh and taunt, and he is stuck there all weekend, with no one wanting to share his tent or be associated with him. The adult nebbish remembering all this is stumbling toward the edge, as daylight hits. I think what I decided to do with it is that he finally gets to the edge and just knows when to open his eyes. He somehow beats it--or another person shows up and calls out in time before he gets too far. Anyway, I have heard from profs that the suicide story is a kind of rite of passage for the beginning writer, who is looking for a way to infuse a story with drama. The newbie is unable, of course, to conceive of any human event more profound, but it also has something to do with working out a brand new narrator's ambivalence over total control vs. noncontrol over character, voice, and plot...
— October 12, 2009 5:37 a.m.

A Pleasure To Read

"I vote we forget about Nabokov and read something new and relevant. Cuddlefish's categorization of writers..." Fish is right. I probably won't let go of the Nabokov, as I have a couple few points to make. But maybe I'll turn it into a blog instead. And I would be interested in a book club sort of affair, by which we all read a book--perhaps of CF's choosing for the first time--and then analyze it together. Wouldn't that be fun? It is definitely my favorite thing to do, and would get me reading some more current fiction. I realize that refried would probably need to make a trip into town for his copy, but that'll be our chance to finally lunch, as I'm not quite well enough lately to visit far away (writing this as I sit in the wilds of Fallbrook :). "...nothing goes into a good story for window dressing, that every word is meant for something and the story would not be the same without it." Yes, my prerequisite for good writing is that every single damn word must have a multiple function in the text. (One of the reasons I like Nabokov!:) "He liked my writing, too, but I have no idea why. I was really bad." Of course he liked your college writing, refried. He saw that you had promise. I took a minor in creative writing as an undergrad, and got positive feedback--a little more for poetry than for the prose. I hung out a little with a girl named Elizabeth Batchelder, and was deeply jealous and admiring of her writing. She was a pure, natural hunter of short fiction was her fierce game. The jaded old prof we had actually sweated and blushed a little in her presence. I remember a masterful little story she wrote in particular about a group of La Jollans in midlife crisis; a lot of it took clever place over people's voicemails to one another, and the last sentence, the last thought of the story belonged to a neurotic woman with a rich, uncomplicated existence, whose nonspecific fears about everything kept her in a state of forever contemplating clear perfect water, looking for sharks. :)
— October 12, 2009 5:01 a.m.

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