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Banker’s Hill/Mercy ER Patient
When you were describing all that pain in your abdomen and then the Denny's waitress...I was thinking that it was going to be Denny's that was the source of all that pain. Nice mention of "JB and the Mensa joke". It might be the only time my initials or name, are used in the same sentence as Mensa. I hope you're feeling better now.— May 30, 2009 11:54 a.m.
A Picture's Worth 1,000 Words
The funniest suicide ever...I forget which Woody Allen movie it was. Allen played a character that was working on a documentary with this smart professor. He brings the woman (possibly Mia Farrow), to meet this man he's told her so much about, only to find he had jumped out the window to kill himself. His suicide note said "I'm out the window." Allen sits there reading it, going on about how profound and deep this guy was, and all he could muster to compose for a suicide note was "I'm out the window."— May 30, 2009 11:42 a.m.
Idiotic Football Players
I didn't take offense to the "mama" joke, but I appreciate the apologize. It does rhyme nice with Obama. I'm not an atheist. I actually think atheists are almost the same as hardcore religious types. They're just SO SURE they are right, which is a tad puzzling. I consider myself an agnostic, who likes to think there might be something up there like heaven, but doesn't know. I do think we evolved from apes, as science has basically proved this. Although, I'm not privy to what it is you and Fred were debating elsewhere. But, that being said...I think a strong case could be made, Spliff...that you are that missing link.— May 30, 2009 12:37 a.m.
Parents Taking Care of Children
Holy crap, you're right MsG. I don't know what I was thinking. I mean...I know what I was thinking. I was thinking that someone that young with a kid, that didn't really plan it that way...was a disaster. She would've ended up not finishing school, her boyfriend or husband, would probably get some job he wasn't happy with. And, a marriage is hard enough on a young couple, but you put a baby in the mix. So, I guess I just meant that in many ways, she dodged what could've been something that lead to worse things....not just divorce, but many women lately in the news, have killed their children (allegedly) all because they were tired of not being able to go out and party or whatever (or were just plain "tired"). But you're right. It's never an appropriate thing to say. And I apologize to refried for that.— May 30, 2009 12:33 a.m.
A Picture's Worth 1,000 Words
Well...the worst thing about that cliche Fred, is that it really doesn't apply. Because, the photo of Alex, the spelling bee kid, is the exact opposite of what you would think he is. So, the thousand words that might come to mind...wouldn't even apply. I think I should've titled this blog "Rock Me Amadelphous".— May 29, 2009 3:48 p.m.
None
Sorry for the lame video, guys. Aside from it being dark, there was a police helicopter overhead. A huge bird nearby, and the batteries died in my recorder. The woman said that her mom was cool in regards to a lot of things, even driving her to see Nirvana two hours away, when she was really young (around 13). Her mom didn't mind the clothes she wore, but the one thing her mom (who was a foreigner, but I forget from where) didn't understand, was that her guy friends in high school were just "friends." She insisted she was sleeping with them all, and would lecture her on how that is wrong. Even if they all piled into a room somewhere to smoke a joint and the mom caught them, she had no clue it was pot. She thought it was some kind of orgy. It was such a funny story, I wish the camera didn't die!— May 29, 2009 3:44 p.m.
NBA -- Playoffs and Personalities
I wasn't implying blacks were racist for calling me "Bird." It was just a point that people ASSume that others want to be associated with someone of their own race, whereas I'd rather be compared to Magic Johnson (which, by the way, would be my porno name). Hell, I would've rather been compared to James Worthy, Oscar Robertson, Wilt Chamberlain, Earl Monroe, Walt Frazier (I did have his sideburns for a while), etc. I'd have even taken a comparison to Jerry West or Pete Maravich. Just not Bird! It's kind of like how an idiot I know, the day after the election, went up to a black guy and said "congratulations." He just assumed this guy voted for Obama. Now, I'm guessing it's a safe assumption, but still...it was an idiotic thing to say to someone you don't know. Now, in regards to you saying people should just "adapt" and "shut up" and all that...can you explain to me why those black firefighters, that didn't pass a test for a promotion, didn't take your same advice? Instead, there are lawsuits, and the test gets thrown out, and the 19 Caucasians and 1 Latino, that passed the test, do not get the promotion. You mentioned "work harder" and "get better" and "short comings in life". Sounds like you're talking about some firefighters that didn't pass a test, and maybe should do some of those things you preach.— May 29, 2009 10:24 a.m.
Social Network
Yeah, bullfighting always is. You know the joke about the guy going to Spain, watching bullfights, and having the "rocky mountain oysters"...only on the 3rd day, they were really small (I'm sure you know the rest).— May 29, 2009 10:14 a.m.
A Picture's Worth 1,000 Words
I love the "really?" skits. I'm going to miss those. When Amy made a guest appearance, I got home and turned on the TV just as they were finishing one. But you bring up a decent point, anti. It would make more sense wondering what someone was thinking right before they were executed. Obviously, they are scared. But are they also regretful? Do they think they'll go to Hell, the way the bad guys in Ghost did? Are they wondering what it will feel like? etc. Great joke about the name, rickey. I always got tired of the announcers on ESPN, when some Russian hockey player had a name like "YBBRLISKY" and they say "Can I buy a vowel, please." It was cute the first time, but the 50th?— May 29, 2009 8:54 a.m.
Wanda Sykes and the President
UPDATE: Wanda was on Leno the other night. She killed. She was hysterical. The funniest thing is when she said how the media keeps saying they're waiting for the real Michelle Obama. She then did the hand on the hip and finger waving thing. Leno also talked about how he had said some off-color things about Reagan, and he didn't get nearly the bad press she did.— May 29, 2009 12:27 a.m.