What manners are missing in society?

Asked by Josh Board

October 21, 2009

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Dan Sanders

From Clairemont (Distribution Company)

It would be lack of respect. That could be for other people or oneself. I think people don’t respect themselves, and they aren’t responsible for their actions. A lot of kids in this new generation don’t seem to respect adults.

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Gwen Moore

From Carlsbad (Student)

People not being polite and just getting pissed off so quickly. You see this most commonly when you’re in your car. You might not see somebody and you accidentally cut them off; before you can even say sorry, they’re flipping you off or cursing you out. It’s probably why you see so much road rage. You don’t even have a chance to let them know you didn’t see them.

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Anna Paul

From La Jolla (Baker)

Respect. I feel the youth of America, mostly teenagers, aren’t as respectful as older generations were. Think about adults in the ’50s and ’60s and how their kids respected them. In our apartment complex, my next-door neighbors party almost every night. Not loud music, but just talking and making a lot of noise. They’re not even thinking about how it sounds to people living nearby.

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William Harris

From Chula Vista (Contractor)

I don’t know. The other day I saw a guy walk into a store without holding a door open for the woman behind him. Yet I see many others holding doors for women. Although, if you watch most couples, the husband or boyfriend doesn’t open the car door for his lady. My grandfather hates all the guys wearing baseball caps indoors. He claims it’s horrible etiquette, even though society has changed from the way it was years ago.

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Lisa Flynn

From Banker’s Hill (Massage Therapist)

I think family values and morals are missing in today’s society. Also, the way people interact with other people and how they judge themselves and others. I think there aren’t enough good role models. And people aren’t aware of the high psychological impact on what people view about life. People also don’t cut out and abstain from things that aren’t good for them. It creates excess.

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George Fay

From La Jolla (Research Assistant)

It would be manners that relate to people on the road. When I’m merging on the 805, the on-ramp has two roads becoming one. Usually cars space themselves properly, but there always seems to be people that double up and just cut right in. Another time, I was in the fast lane, going well over the speed limit, and a car came up behind me and started cursing at me for not moving over fast enough. He didn’t give me time, and besides, all the traffic in front of us was stopping. So, there really wasn’t a reason to move over.


Joe Poutous Oct. 23, 2009 @ 8:08 p.m.


Thank you.

Eye contact.

Putting down the f-ing phone, even when you have a fresh text and paying attention to the people that you are actually with.

Allowing your self to be inconvenienced so that someone you don't know will not feel pressured to get out of your damn way.


  • Joe

Josh Board Oct. 25, 2009 @ 1:38 a.m.

Ya know what, Tiki? I've found that so many kids are good about saying "thank you" and "please". It always surprises me.

Although, I was at a family friends house last Halloween...a few days before, and she gave the neighbors child a big bag of candy. The mom was with the 10-year-old and did the old "say 'thank you'." And the child did.

I always feel like, in that situation, it makes the person giving the thing to the child, feel awkward. The parent should thank the person, for giving the candy to their child. Then, when you leave the house, you say to your child "Why did you not thank her for giving you that candy? I've told you to thank people when they give you something."


Joe Poutous Oct. 25, 2009 @ 10:19 a.m.

I was talking about adults... If we are polite, the kids around us will follow that example.

  • Joe

Mango Oct. 27, 2009 @ 3:26 p.m.

In many stores and restaurants the people working at the registers rarely ask, "May I help you?" or even say "hello" anymore. On the other hand, the folks at Starbucks usually seem to be very nice and polite and always make me feel welcome.

The patrons frequenting stores and restaurants rarely say "hello" or "thank you" or "pardon me" before they start barking demands at the clerks or worse yet, they talk on their cell phones while they are making a transaction, as if the clerk didn't even exist.

On the road, many people tailgate and weave in an out of traffic without using turn signals (they don't seem to understand the notion that turn signals are there to signal intent to other drivers.) People rarely let people merge, why? There's a simple lack of patience, civility and common sense adherence to the rules of the road that lead to a lot of unnecessary stress and accidents. Distracted, lazy and angry drivers are not just a nuisance, they're a danger.

Everywhere in public, people talk loudly on their cell phones and don't seem to realize or care that other people near them (usually total strangers) are being assaulted first by the loudness, and second, by the fact that they are being subjected to that person's (often angry, embarrassing or private) business. Why do people choose the grocery store when they want to yell at their relatives on the phone? I long for the days of phone booths with doors that closed.

At school some parents regularly let their kids bully other children and break rules, then blame the teacher for the problem when it's brought to their attention. On the other hand, some school administrators do not set and enforce adequate rules or present examples of correct and polite behavior for the students. There are often no consequences for students who exhibit rude behavior or lack of respect toward their teachers or other students. The more often this is allowed to happen, the more it becomes acceptable behavior and then the nice folks at the Reader find themselves asking us all the question, "What manners are missing in society?"


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