What's the funniest outgoing message that you've heard on an answering machine?

Asked by Josh Board

May 21, 2008

Photo of Eric Vest

Eric Vest

From Normal Heights (Actor)

It was a friend of mine. I can’t remember which one. I’ll say Mark. The message was done in a real monotone voice. It said, “Hi. This is Mark’s refrigerator. His answering machine is on vacation. Leave me a message and I’ll stick it to myself and make sure he gets it when he returns.” It was kind of funny.

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Mel Marshall

From La Mesa (Sales)

My friend roped me in three or four times with his message. It’s just that one that goes, “Hello? Oh, what’s up?” And you start talking, not realizing it’s a machine. It seems like after the first time it happens, you wouldn’t be tricked again. Part of the problem is that I sometimes called while I was driving, so I couldn’t hear it that clearly.

Photo of Patrick Chiasson

Patrick Chiasson

From Clairemont (Coast Guard)

In the Coast Guard, when you go out for months, you usually leave an outgoing message that you are underway. My friend was leaving his outgoing message, and it was going to be the one people heard for months while he was out to sea. I was playing quarters in the background, and as he’s leaving the message you can hear me in the background, and him saying, “Are you playing quarters?” It was the last thing you can hear on the message.

Photo of Kim Sterner

Kim Sterner

From Spring Valley (Law Library)

I have a best friend that had their three-year-old do the outgoing message. And it sounds so cute. She says, “Hi, this is Leanna. I’ll tell my parents you called, if I remember.” She is 19 now, and that outgoing message is still on their machine.

Photo of Nick Atwell

Nick Atwell

From Cypress (Student)

I had a friend that did something really strange with his outgoing message. He wrote out everything he wanted to say. It was the usual thing, like, “I’m not here right now, so leave a name and number.” It was longer than that, but just those basic points. Since he wrote it down, he then read it back into the machine, starting with the last word first. Completely backwards. Of course, all of his friends understood, but I’m sure it sounded odd to people that didn’t know him that called.

Photo of Kendra Hoff

Kendra Hoff

From Sioux City, Iowa (Nurse)

It was when I was doing cold calls in sales. I got this one house where the message was “Thank you for calling the psychiatric ward. Press 1, 2, or 3 for multiple personalities; press 4 repeatedly for OCD. If you are a paranoid schizophrenic, we already know you and we’re tracing the call.” There were a few more I can’t remember. Oh… “If you’re apathetic, don’t press anything, it won’t matter anyway.” I saved the number and called it back a few times.


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