Matt: I know this is going to be a little gross, so let me apologize in advance. Is the human body simply incapable of breaking down corn kernels? I can't even seem to chew corn …
July 10, 2003
Straight from the Hip
Archived articles
What's the point of eating corn?
Angry bee attacks watermelon!
M. Alice: While hefting candidate watermelons at the market, my wife said that the way to pick a good watermelon is to look for bee stings on them. "Bees don't sting watermelons." "Yes, they do. …
July 10, 2003
Maybe he should have yelled "Aft!"
Hey Matthew: A friend of mine just lost eight teeth in a golfing accident with a buddy, which makes me wonder, why do people use the word "Fore!" when stroking the ball as a warning …
July 3, 2003
ArfArfArfArfArfArf!
Hi, Matt: Do dogs ever get tired of barking? Is there a record for the longest consecutive bark? My neighbor's dog must hold that record. I'm sure a normal person couldn't talk that long. Even …
July 3, 2003
Cosmetology for the dead
Dear Matthew Alice: My co-worker and I are having a friendly discussion. It's my understanding that after a person dies, their hair and nails continue to grow, at least for a short time. My co-worker …
July 3, 2003
Hi. Is Garfield there?
Matt: Why does my cat bug the heck out of me when I'm on the phone-- rubbing against me, purring… -- Beth, San Diego Outside chance she'd like her own phone. But more likely she …
July 3, 2003
You're never too young to be a geezer
Dear Matthew: At what age does one qualify to be called a geezer? Most dictionaries just say "an old man." I was wondering if you could define the chronological age at which the term geezer …
July 3, 2003
Matthew Alice talks trash
Hey, Matt: If you've driven along 52 between 5 and Regents Road over the last half year, you've noticed that it is a dump. Every imaginable form of debris short of corpses decorates the shoulders. …
June 26, 2003
The logic of charcoal
Mattster: Why does charcoal burn? Isn't it already burned? Or is it only mostly burned? What gives? -- B.C., O'side Charcoal is carefully cooked wood. Mankind figured out this one many centuries ago. The head-producing …
June 26, 2003
We've got the sun in the morning and the moon at night.
Hey Matt What's the difference between a sunroof and a moonroof on a car? -- Jay, Bay Park Grandma Alice has a message for you. "Tell him the difference is like day and night!" She's …
June 12, 2003
Find fulfillment in Young America.
Heymatt: I was just opening a Kit-Kat bar, and there's a contest under the wrapper. I got the usual, "Sorry. Try again." But in the list of rules it says, "For a free game piece, …
June 12, 2003