Tyger Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night How did you end up in there, Trapped beneath my vacant stare? Am I supposed to quake in awe At thy claws, thy fearsome jaw? …
June 5, 2014
Almost Factual News
With apologies to William Blake
Low voter turnout blamed on lingering Malaise Layer
"Mayor Faulconer is the face of the good-ol'-boy establishment," said Area Man as he cracked a fourth Dos Equis while sitting on his patio and watching his grass wither on Election Day. "District Attorney Dumanis …
June 5, 2014
San Diego joins effort to clean up nation's airports
In 2012, the San Diego Airport Commission removed the huge mural of Charles Lindbergh that had adorned the San Diego Airport Commuter Terminal for 15 years. In 2014, they replaced the mural with Jari "Werc" …
May 29, 2014
RACIST group proposes new name for San Diego Padres
"We know that it's more helpful to propose solutions than it is to simply complain about problems," says Samantha Serious, community organizer for Rename All Culturally Insensitive Sports Teams (RACIST). That's why we here at …
May 18, 2014
Twitter suspends #YOLO hashtag following tweet from San Diego arsonist
Twitter spokeswoman Tammy Twiterrier today announced the social network's first-ever hashtag suspension, after a user posted a tweet that seemed to take credit for starting the Cocos fire near San Marcos. The as-yet-unidentified user, posting …
May 16, 2014
The Wizard of SpanOz
SOMETHING SOMETHING GASLAMP GASBAG — Fans attending last Thursday night's game between the San Diego Padres and the San Francisco Dodgers might have been forgiven for believing they'd come down with an unseasonal case of …
May 16, 2014
Padres = Bad Dads?
"The Donald Sterling scandal has had one good effect," says Samantha Serious, community organizer for Rename All Culturally Insensitive Sports Teams (RACIST), "the first serious, ownership-level discussion about racism in professional sports since the Atlanta …
May 15, 2014
Chargers' Owner Spanos: "Loose Lips Sink [Clipper] Ships"
An audiotape has recently surfaced in which a man tentatively identified as San Diego Chargers owner Alex Spanos chides former Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling for talking "about anything that matters to a woman." …
May 15, 2014
Found: another proposal from the now-disbanded Balboa Park Centennial Group
From the minutes of the December 2013 meeting of the Balboa Park Centennial Group, obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request and a fifth of Glenlivet: Mr. [REDACTED] noted that, during the 1935 Expo, …
May 9, 2014
Undeleted City emails reveal Balboa Park Centennial Group proposal for 2015 XXXPosition
SLOWLY COUNTING TO 2.6 MILLION IN AN EFFORT TO MAINTAIN CONTROL, BALBOA PARK — The combined decisions to halt the deletion of City emails and to audit the now-defunct Balboa Park Centennial Group have produced …
May 1, 2014
ZIMMERMANHANDLED
On March 4, Shelley Zimmerman was confirmed as the new Chief of Police for San Diego. Hopes were high that the new chief — the first woman ever to hold the position — would bring …
April 11, 2014