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Now streaming: BOUND (2023)
Featuring five minutes of fabulous flying squirrel action!
Squirrel meets girl: Bandit and Alexandra Faye Sadeghian.
BOUND (2023) Written and Directed by Isaac Hirotsu Woofter / Cinematographers: Maximilian Lewin & Jake Simpson (2.00:1) / Design: Brian Varney / Editor: Kristian Otero / Composer: Ethan Startzman / Set Medic: Christopher Srock / Acted by: Alexandra Faye Sadeghian, Jessica Pimentel, Ramin Karimloo, Bryant Carroll[, Pooya Mohseni, Jaye Alexander[, Josh Alscher, Alok Tewar, Miguel Izaguirre, Ethan Herschenfeld, and Bandit as Himself / Distributor: Freestyle Releasing / Not Rated / Length: 101 mins.
Now here’s something we hope you’ll really like: the first full-length live-action movie to feature a flying squirrel (Bandit) in a pivotal role. That said: for five minutes out of its 99-minute running time, Bound is the beginning and end of onscreen airborne rodent melodrama. It’s the 94 minutes of hacky-sack camerawork surrounding it that make for rocky viewing. But at least the film isn't cheesy exploitation posing as a searing indictment of the manner in which society marginalizes the intellectually challenged…wait a second. That’s exactly what it is.
Video:
Trailer: BOUND
It didn’t take long to detect a newbie at the helm; an awesome name like Isaac Hirotsu Woofter is a tough-to-forget bell-ringer if ever there was one. The tenor of things to come was set by a disclaimer that alerted the faint-hearted in the room to themes of sex, violence and, most importantly, mental illness — which in the case of a glorified genre picture like Bound are its key sordid selling points. This serrated slice of cinema-as-therapy is loosely based on the true events from star Alexandra Faye Sadeghian's childhood that left her battling trauma.
We open on a rumpled letter informing Bella Patterson (Sadeghian) that she has a full scholarship offer from the New York City Art Academy that demands her immediate attention. It’s one thing to know that her piggish stepdad Gordy (Bryant Carroll) hid all previous correspondence, but it's another to wonder why she didn’t contact the school and accept their offer immediately upon finding out. A drug peddler by trade, Gordy keeps Bella's mother Yeva (Pooya Mohseni) doped to the point of near-catatonia. Not that Mom seems to mind much: she's an enabler, always ready to take Gordy back no matter how many times she promises Bella that she won't. Gordy's just taking the path of least resistance. First impressions mean a lot: fed up living in an abusive household, Bella puts a bullet in Gordy’s arm. For a brief moment I admired her spunk. With nothing but the flying squirrel on her back and a sizable bag of rock she found in Gordy’s glovebox, she hops the first train bound for New York.
Note to Mr. Woofter: if you can afford to shoot in New York City, you can afford a tripod. Hand-held jugglery stitched together by random jump-cuts went out with the French New Wave, and judging by the nausea-inducing camerawork, you’re not going to be the one to bring them back. Given all the sordidness up to now, you might worry that Bella’s worst days lie ahead — particularly in a town known for the ease and ability with which it chews up and spits out the boatloads of wannabe superstars who land on its shores. But not our Cinderella Bella.
On her first visit to a local coffeehouse, Bella not only scores a barista gig, she scores it from handsome manager Owais (Ramin Karimloo), who is both single and looking. (At the close of day, Owais mutters, “Now I know why you don't have a resume.”) It only gets better from there: Bella wants to dress for success, but she's currently undergoing a cash-flow crisis. Her attempt at shoplifting gets detected, but not only does she go unpunished, the boutique employee lets her walk out wearing the swag! And as if one job weren’t enough, Bella lands a bartending gig with Marta (Jessica Pimentel), who encourages her to work as a metal artist. (She turns garbage into art, but even she couldn't save this script.) Don't have a place to stay? Don't worry, Bella can always sleep in the basement of the bar. The place is so hospitable, it's a wonder you ever see homeless people in New York! From the screenwriter’s point-of-view, the city out-happys both Magic Kingdoms. Unless you're a squirrel. At one point, I calculated that it had been three days since poor Bandit had been fed.
Coincidence reigns supreme: in a city populated by 8.2 million people, what are the chances it would be Bella’s boss that Gordy is abusing? But just when things can't get any darker, the cavalry shows up in the form of Owais to save the day. The film actually ends on a statistical crawl straight out of a classroom scare film from the '50s, complete with the phone number for the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline.
EPILOGUE: The squirrel was finally fed, meaning only the audience has to go home hungry. Zero stars
Here's something you might be interested in.
Now streaming: BOUND (2023)
Featuring five minutes of fabulous flying squirrel action!
Now streaming: BOUND (2023)
Featuring five minutes of fabulous flying squirrel action!
Squirrel meets girl: Bandit and Alexandra Faye Sadeghian.
BOUND (2023) Written and Directed by Isaac Hirotsu Woofter / Cinematographers: Maximilian Lewin & Jake Simpson (2.00:1) / Design: Brian Varney / Editor: Kristian Otero / Composer: Ethan Startzman / Set Medic: Christopher Srock / Acted by: Alexandra Faye Sadeghian, Jessica Pimentel, Ramin Karimloo, Bryant Carroll[, Pooya Mohseni, Jaye Alexander[, Josh Alscher, Alok Tewar, Miguel Izaguirre, Ethan Herschenfeld, and Bandit as Himself / Distributor: Freestyle Releasing / Not Rated / Length: 101 mins.
Now here’s something we hope you’ll really like: the first full-length live-action movie to feature a flying squirrel (Bandit) in a pivotal role. That said: for five minutes out of its 99-minute running time, Bound is the beginning and end of onscreen airborne rodent melodrama. It’s the 94 minutes of hacky-sack camerawork surrounding it that make for rocky viewing. But at least the film isn't cheesy exploitation posing as a searing indictment of the manner in which society marginalizes the intellectually challenged…wait a second. That’s exactly what it is.
Video:
Trailer: BOUND
It didn’t take long to detect a newbie at the helm; an awesome name like Isaac Hirotsu Woofter is a tough-to-forget bell-ringer if ever there was one. The tenor of things to come was set by a disclaimer that alerted the faint-hearted in the room to themes of sex, violence and, most importantly, mental illness — which in the case of a glorified genre picture like Bound are its key sordid selling points. This serrated slice of cinema-as-therapy is loosely based on the true events from star Alexandra Faye Sadeghian's childhood that left her battling trauma.
We open on a rumpled letter informing Bella Patterson (Sadeghian) that she has a full scholarship offer from the New York City Art Academy that demands her immediate attention. It’s one thing to know that her piggish stepdad Gordy (Bryant Carroll) hid all previous correspondence, but it's another to wonder why she didn’t contact the school and accept their offer immediately upon finding out. A drug peddler by trade, Gordy keeps Bella's mother Yeva (Pooya Mohseni) doped to the point of near-catatonia. Not that Mom seems to mind much: she's an enabler, always ready to take Gordy back no matter how many times she promises Bella that she won't. Gordy's just taking the path of least resistance. First impressions mean a lot: fed up living in an abusive household, Bella puts a bullet in Gordy’s arm. For a brief moment I admired her spunk. With nothing but the flying squirrel on her back and a sizable bag of rock she found in Gordy’s glovebox, she hops the first train bound for New York.
Note to Mr. Woofter: if you can afford to shoot in New York City, you can afford a tripod. Hand-held jugglery stitched together by random jump-cuts went out with the French New Wave, and judging by the nausea-inducing camerawork, you’re not going to be the one to bring them back. Given all the sordidness up to now, you might worry that Bella’s worst days lie ahead — particularly in a town known for the ease and ability with which it chews up and spits out the boatloads of wannabe superstars who land on its shores. But not our Cinderella Bella.
On her first visit to a local coffeehouse, Bella not only scores a barista gig, she scores it from handsome manager Owais (Ramin Karimloo), who is both single and looking. (At the close of day, Owais mutters, “Now I know why you don't have a resume.”) It only gets better from there: Bella wants to dress for success, but she's currently undergoing a cash-flow crisis. Her attempt at shoplifting gets detected, but not only does she go unpunished, the boutique employee lets her walk out wearing the swag! And as if one job weren’t enough, Bella lands a bartending gig with Marta (Jessica Pimentel), who encourages her to work as a metal artist. (She turns garbage into art, but even she couldn't save this script.) Don't have a place to stay? Don't worry, Bella can always sleep in the basement of the bar. The place is so hospitable, it's a wonder you ever see homeless people in New York! From the screenwriter’s point-of-view, the city out-happys both Magic Kingdoms. Unless you're a squirrel. At one point, I calculated that it had been three days since poor Bandit had been fed.
Coincidence reigns supreme: in a city populated by 8.2 million people, what are the chances it would be Bella’s boss that Gordy is abusing? But just when things can't get any darker, the cavalry shows up in the form of Owais to save the day. The film actually ends on a statistical crawl straight out of a classroom scare film from the '50s, complete with the phone number for the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline.
EPILOGUE: The squirrel was finally fed, meaning only the audience has to go home hungry. Zero stars
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