Magnificent Seven played

This is the final chapter of our tour of all 32 NFL teams and the music that fits each team the best.

We start with the NFC East and The New York Giants. The Giants have fallen a bit short in recent years but they’ve been relevant most of the time. The obvious music for the Giants is the arrival of the giants Fafner and Fasolt in Richard Wagner’s Das Rheingold. It sounds more like the arrival of Lawrence Taylor and Michael Strahan to me.

From the city of ominous giants, we go to Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love and the Eagles. As previously mentioned, the animal mascots aren’t that inspiring when it comes to classical music. However, we can work with brotherly love. Is there anything more brotherly than the bond between soldiers? Soldiers go to war which means the music for Philadelphia is “Mars the Bringer of War” from The Planets by Gustav Holst.

The Dallas Cowboys have five Super Bowl wins and are often referred to as “America’s Team”. You might not realize this but seven-on-seven football is a big thing in Texas high schools. If we mix cowboys with seven-on-seven what do we get? The Magnificent Seven by Elmer Bernstein.

Professor Severus Snape conducts this performance from Barcelona.

The Washington Redskins are now the Washington Commanders and that’s good for many reasons. The music for the Commanders is the arrival of the Commendatore in Mozart's Don Giovanni. The old commander’s ghost has come to drag Don Giovanni to hell. Of course, the Commanders have been dragging their fans to hell ever since Dan Snyder bought the team.

Now for the AFC West. The Las Vegas Raiders used to be the Oakland Raiders and no team was as hateful and hated as the Oakland Raiders. Their music is “The Evil God and the Dance of the Pagan Monsters” from Sergei Prokofiev’s Scythian Suite. Prokofiev sounds like the name of a Raiders linebacker from the 60s.

The Kansas City Chiefs combine Native American elements with the decidedly Western tradition of professional football. Antonin Dvorak used Native American themes as the foundation for his monumental Symphony No. 9: From the New World. The final movement presents music that is as dominant as the Chiefs have been since Patrick Mahomes became their quarterback.

The Denver Broncos are appropriately named as there are wild horses and broncos that roam the Rocky Mountains. The question is whether or not these Broncos can be tamed and organized into a unit that charges to the Super Bowl. Their music is “The Calvary Charge” from the finale of Rossini’s Willam Tell Overture.

Our final team is the Los Angeles Chargers. Their music is the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky. Tchaikovsky’s music portrays The Battle of Borodino, which the Russians lost. This is the story of the Chargers. Before each season they sound like a great team but then they lose. In the overture, a descending string section, which feels like it goes on forever, depicts Napoleon’s army dwindling as they retreat through the Russian winter. This is the sound of the Chargers’ fan base dwindling as they retreated to LA.