4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Irish Eddie Murphy’s laws

Is The Wizard an eccentric?

Wizard Irish Eddie Murphy: Wants mermaids back!
Wizard Irish Eddie Murphy: Wants mermaids back!

“My mama’s a witch and daddy’s a sorcerer,” says Irish Eddie Murphy. He sits down outside the liquor store, stroking his beard.

I offer coffee or Coke, but nope. “I’m going to get myself a couple of cans of raviolis. It’s sad, but I saw the 99-cent stuff, and I’m like, OK. Because I’ve got a $2 bill. I save $2 bills. They represent freedom and independence. Except the thing is, in 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed by nothing but hemp farmers! Jefferson, Adams, Washington? Hemp farmers!” 

Sponsored
Sponsored

Is The Wizard an eccentric? Definitely. It runs in the family. His daddy’s name was Irish Eddie Murphy as well. “Just like the fellow that wrote ‘Murphy’s Law,’ which says, ‘If something can go wrong, it will, at the worst possible moment.’ I pray a lot, and when I pray for good luck, I get bad luck. Which is better than good luck, because you get wisdom. I pray for strength and I get weakness. And I pray for others, and that’s probably when I get my most wisdom, because if you want to get wisdom, you pray for poor people. If you want wealth, you pray for rich people. If you want to have fun, you pray for the ladies. They smile at me and they make my heart go pitter-patter. I’m a gifted salesman. I have read the book The Greatest Salesman in the World fourteen times. And I’m adamantly opposed to taxes, but by the same token, when I do get wealthy, I’m definitely going to give away 50 percent of my money, because I think it’s imperative to give back. When you give, you live.” It’s easy conversation, marked by these little rhyming couplets.

Irish Eddie’s favorite banknote, the $2 bill with some of his bons mots
Irish Eddie’s favorite denomination

“I’m also trying to learn new stuff,” he says, “and I just told the people at the library: they’ve got an awesome media room in there, but what they do is they let you reserve it for yourself. So when you’re in there alone, you can’t be teaching yourself. You don’t know what you’re doing! So I told them, I’d rather have six people in there. Then everybody’s learning from each other.”

He also searches for those gold coins featuring Sacagawea, the Shoshone guide for the Lewis and Clark expedition (1803-1806). “On the coin, she has her baby on her back. And I do feel like we need her guidance, now that we’re headed for a maybe little bit of war. I’m fifth-generation Irish-American, and every one of my ancestors has been in [a war], and I just feel like right now, there’s a lot of people ain’t pulling their weight. And it’s kinda like what China’s doing. They’ve given us stuff. And when you give people too much, it makes them weak. Because I don’t want something for free. As I say, I have my PhD, my Pan-Handler’s Degree, heh heh. I give and I take. So what I’m doing now — because most people don’t read! — is these 14-page e-books. I’m brief, blunt, and done. I like to talk about situations that cause me pain, and turn my tears into laughter. And you want pain? Last night! These Padres lost by three to the Draft Dodgers. They’re gonna need a little magic. I’ve offered.”

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Who needs Disneyland duels when you can Twitch?

Missy Alcazar figures out her funding
Wizard Irish Eddie Murphy: Wants mermaids back!
Wizard Irish Eddie Murphy: Wants mermaids back!

“My mama’s a witch and daddy’s a sorcerer,” says Irish Eddie Murphy. He sits down outside the liquor store, stroking his beard.

I offer coffee or Coke, but nope. “I’m going to get myself a couple of cans of raviolis. It’s sad, but I saw the 99-cent stuff, and I’m like, OK. Because I’ve got a $2 bill. I save $2 bills. They represent freedom and independence. Except the thing is, in 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed by nothing but hemp farmers! Jefferson, Adams, Washington? Hemp farmers!” 

Sponsored
Sponsored

Is The Wizard an eccentric? Definitely. It runs in the family. His daddy’s name was Irish Eddie Murphy as well. “Just like the fellow that wrote ‘Murphy’s Law,’ which says, ‘If something can go wrong, it will, at the worst possible moment.’ I pray a lot, and when I pray for good luck, I get bad luck. Which is better than good luck, because you get wisdom. I pray for strength and I get weakness. And I pray for others, and that’s probably when I get my most wisdom, because if you want to get wisdom, you pray for poor people. If you want wealth, you pray for rich people. If you want to have fun, you pray for the ladies. They smile at me and they make my heart go pitter-patter. I’m a gifted salesman. I have read the book The Greatest Salesman in the World fourteen times. And I’m adamantly opposed to taxes, but by the same token, when I do get wealthy, I’m definitely going to give away 50 percent of my money, because I think it’s imperative to give back. When you give, you live.” It’s easy conversation, marked by these little rhyming couplets.

Irish Eddie’s favorite banknote, the $2 bill with some of his bons mots
Irish Eddie’s favorite denomination

“I’m also trying to learn new stuff,” he says, “and I just told the people at the library: they’ve got an awesome media room in there, but what they do is they let you reserve it for yourself. So when you’re in there alone, you can’t be teaching yourself. You don’t know what you’re doing! So I told them, I’d rather have six people in there. Then everybody’s learning from each other.”

He also searches for those gold coins featuring Sacagawea, the Shoshone guide for the Lewis and Clark expedition (1803-1806). “On the coin, she has her baby on her back. And I do feel like we need her guidance, now that we’re headed for a maybe little bit of war. I’m fifth-generation Irish-American, and every one of my ancestors has been in [a war], and I just feel like right now, there’s a lot of people ain’t pulling their weight. And it’s kinda like what China’s doing. They’ve given us stuff. And when you give people too much, it makes them weak. Because I don’t want something for free. As I say, I have my PhD, my Pan-Handler’s Degree, heh heh. I give and I take. So what I’m doing now — because most people don’t read! — is these 14-page e-books. I’m brief, blunt, and done. I like to talk about situations that cause me pain, and turn my tears into laughter. And you want pain? Last night! These Padres lost by three to the Draft Dodgers. They’re gonna need a little magic. I’ve offered.”

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Vast views from Viejas Mountain

Viejas Mountain South Approach from Willows Road
Next Article

Earliest Sunset, Liquidambar Trees, Mars is Closest until 2033

Comments
0

Be the first to leave a comment.

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close