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Strippers Stripped of Right to Strip

To whom will our nation turn its lonely eyes now?

Garter: “Anyone who says we’re not essential workers is either married, dead, or both. We’re used to using our bodies to secure an income. Now, we’re using them to secure our right to secure an income. We’re not just going to lie down and take it.”
Garter: “Anyone who says we’re not essential workers is either married, dead, or both. We’re used to using our bodies to secure an income. Now, we’re using them to secure our right to secure an income. We’re not just going to lie down and take it.”

“Do you read Medscape?” asks Lacey Garter, a stripper who normally works weekday lunches at Cheetah’s Gentleman’s Club, but who is today standing outside in the brisk October air, completely naked except for her cowboy boots and Hello Kitty merkin, protesting the city’s decision to enforce its prohibition on live entertainment within the club’s mirrored walls. “I read Medscape. It’s one of those sites that collects medical journal articles. Anyway, they had a piece yesterday about the surge in opioid overdose deaths since covid began. It’s always hilarious when science gets around to confirming what everybody already knows: people in pain only feel worse when you isolate them in home environments that are frequently causative of some aspect of that pain. People need help in these troubled times. The government knows this - it’s why they classified marijuana dispensaries as essential businesses. Marijuana makes people feel measurably better. Well, let me tell you about another obvious fact that science has gotten around to acknowledging: human contact, especially when it’s of a sexual nature, also makes people feel measurably better. And we’re not even talking about actual touching — San Diego’s strip clubs have been practicing the six-foot rule for years, thanks to the limp old men who run this town. You shut down strip clubs, you wind up with things like New Yorker writer Jeffrey Toobin masturbating during a business Zoom meeting — at least in the club, there’s a bouncer handy for dudes like that. Classic return of the repressed — I read about that on Medscape, too. We’re here to help, and we’re hoping that our protest attracts enough attention to make that possible.” As of press time, no less than four traffic accidents had taken place outside the club on Clairemont Mesa Boulevard, one of them involving an ambulance that mysteriously lost control upon arriving at the scene of a previous crash.

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Garter: “Anyone who says we’re not essential workers is either married, dead, or both. We’re used to using our bodies to secure an income. Now, we’re using them to secure our right to secure an income. We’re not just going to lie down and take it.”
Garter: “Anyone who says we’re not essential workers is either married, dead, or both. We’re used to using our bodies to secure an income. Now, we’re using them to secure our right to secure an income. We’re not just going to lie down and take it.”

“Do you read Medscape?” asks Lacey Garter, a stripper who normally works weekday lunches at Cheetah’s Gentleman’s Club, but who is today standing outside in the brisk October air, completely naked except for her cowboy boots and Hello Kitty merkin, protesting the city’s decision to enforce its prohibition on live entertainment within the club’s mirrored walls. “I read Medscape. It’s one of those sites that collects medical journal articles. Anyway, they had a piece yesterday about the surge in opioid overdose deaths since covid began. It’s always hilarious when science gets around to confirming what everybody already knows: people in pain only feel worse when you isolate them in home environments that are frequently causative of some aspect of that pain. People need help in these troubled times. The government knows this - it’s why they classified marijuana dispensaries as essential businesses. Marijuana makes people feel measurably better. Well, let me tell you about another obvious fact that science has gotten around to acknowledging: human contact, especially when it’s of a sexual nature, also makes people feel measurably better. And we’re not even talking about actual touching — San Diego’s strip clubs have been practicing the six-foot rule for years, thanks to the limp old men who run this town. You shut down strip clubs, you wind up with things like New Yorker writer Jeffrey Toobin masturbating during a business Zoom meeting — at least in the club, there’s a bouncer handy for dudes like that. Classic return of the repressed — I read about that on Medscape, too. We’re here to help, and we’re hoping that our protest attracts enough attention to make that possible.” As of press time, no less than four traffic accidents had taken place outside the club on Clairemont Mesa Boulevard, one of them involving an ambulance that mysteriously lost control upon arriving at the scene of a previous crash.

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There was a year-and-a-half stretch when Belushi was clean and sober, and it showed in his work.
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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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