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On the War(ren)path

During visit to San Diego, Presidential candidate lays out ambitious plan for monopoly-busting

Hi-ya! Senator Warren demonstrates her trademark “small-axe swing” toward the California state flag to indicate her intent to split the state from the U.S. and so create an new nation.
Hi-ya! Senator Warren demonstrates her trademark “small-axe swing” toward the California state flag to indicate her intent to split the state from the U.S. and so create an new nation.

On October 3, Democratic Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren visited downtown San Diego to hold an outdoor Town Hall, “not unlike the powwows held by the Kumeyaay and other tribes that once called this land home, back before America began its relentless, genocidal rise to become the seat of global influence: economic, military, technological, cultural — you name it. And that’s what I want to talk to you about tonight,” she continued. “No one country should have such a hegemonic grip on the rest of the world. It stifles development elsewhere. It tips the balance of power in all sorts of unhealthy ways. I want to make sure that smaller countries have a chance, and to do that, we need to stop this country from throwing around its political power to shape the rules in its favor, and from throwing around its economic power to overwhelm every potential competitor. It’s one world, not three, and either we all win, or nobody does. That’s why if I’m elected, my first priority will be to break up the monopoly that is the United States. It’s no accident that our most notorious monopolies have been named things like US Steel and the American Tobacco Company. Even back then, people knew a bad thing when they saw it.”

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She then asked the curiously muted crowd to consider itself as an example. “California has 55 electoral votes,” she explained. “The next closest is Texas, with 38 — and don’t worry, I’m going to break them off, too. In both cases, it’s a textbook example of unfair advantage. The United States’ democracy is built on the model of competing interests making compromises and so producing unity. But there’s no incentive to compromise when you’re a big gorilla and everyone else is a monkey. It smothers competition, chills the cultural debate, and cripples the economies of smaller states that are constantly losing their best and brightest to you, with your big money and sexy industry and progressive ideas. It simply isn’t good for America to have a monopolistic state like California in it, so you’ve got to go. You folks will still be the fifth-largest economy in the world, and besides, this way, I don’t have to waste a lot of time battling Google and Facebook, since they’ll be foreign corporations. Instead, I can focus the fight on Amazon and its army of package delivery/smart-bomber spy drones.”

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Hi-ya! Senator Warren demonstrates her trademark “small-axe swing” toward the California state flag to indicate her intent to split the state from the U.S. and so create an new nation.
Hi-ya! Senator Warren demonstrates her trademark “small-axe swing” toward the California state flag to indicate her intent to split the state from the U.S. and so create an new nation.

On October 3, Democratic Presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren visited downtown San Diego to hold an outdoor Town Hall, “not unlike the powwows held by the Kumeyaay and other tribes that once called this land home, back before America began its relentless, genocidal rise to become the seat of global influence: economic, military, technological, cultural — you name it. And that’s what I want to talk to you about tonight,” she continued. “No one country should have such a hegemonic grip on the rest of the world. It stifles development elsewhere. It tips the balance of power in all sorts of unhealthy ways. I want to make sure that smaller countries have a chance, and to do that, we need to stop this country from throwing around its political power to shape the rules in its favor, and from throwing around its economic power to overwhelm every potential competitor. It’s one world, not three, and either we all win, or nobody does. That’s why if I’m elected, my first priority will be to break up the monopoly that is the United States. It’s no accident that our most notorious monopolies have been named things like US Steel and the American Tobacco Company. Even back then, people knew a bad thing when they saw it.”

Sponsored
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She then asked the curiously muted crowd to consider itself as an example. “California has 55 electoral votes,” she explained. “The next closest is Texas, with 38 — and don’t worry, I’m going to break them off, too. In both cases, it’s a textbook example of unfair advantage. The United States’ democracy is built on the model of competing interests making compromises and so producing unity. But there’s no incentive to compromise when you’re a big gorilla and everyone else is a monkey. It smothers competition, chills the cultural debate, and cripples the economies of smaller states that are constantly losing their best and brightest to you, with your big money and sexy industry and progressive ideas. It simply isn’t good for America to have a monopolistic state like California in it, so you’ve got to go. You folks will still be the fifth-largest economy in the world, and besides, this way, I don’t have to waste a lot of time battling Google and Facebook, since they’ll be foreign corporations. Instead, I can focus the fight on Amazon and its army of package delivery/smart-bomber spy drones.”

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