Because the only thing more American than baseball is getting an AWESOME DEAL on GENTLY USED TALENT!
Rantin’ Ron says, “Time is running out! We’ve already sold such popular models as Craig Kimbrel, Andrew Cashner, Melvin Upton, and Fernando Rodney, not to mention that clunker Matt Kemp! But there are still deals to be had! Just remember: California has no ‘cooling off’ period. So don’t get any ideas about making like Miami and returning Colin Rea just because he’s got a bum elbow. And never mind Drew Pomeranz’s so-called 'undisclosed shoulder issues.' I’m Rantin’ Ron Fouler, and I’m telling you these players are in prime condition, ready to take you all the way to October! Let’s play ball!"