Fantasy Mission Force

A Virgin Among
the Living Dead

Despite the salacious title of A Virgin Among the Living Dead ((France/Italy, 1973, Wizard Video), this Jess Franco film is actually quite artsy and unnerving. A young woman returns from boarding school after her father’s death and meets her extended family of weirdos who may or may not be undead bloodsuckers. Features an amazing score by Ennio Morricone’s little buddy, Bruno Nicholai.

Fantasy Mission Force

Fantasy Mission Force (Hong Kong),1983, Aquarius Releasing), an insanely bizarre Hong Kong actioner, tells the story of a group of mercenaries (including Jackie Chan) who are tasked with rescuing Abraham Lincoln from enemy forces. This is after Rambo, Clint Eastwood and Kojack have failed. This is also the 1980s. With forays in haunted houses where a guy taking a poop is offered toilet paper by disembodied hands and a climactic battle with Mad Max–style villains riding Teen Wolf–style on top of cars spray-painted with swastikas and stars of David. So, something for everyone. Available on YouTube and Amazon.

— Frankie Marino, trash aficionado