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OB Marshmallow Party?

On OB's street, marshmallows lay/ On every Independence Day…
On OB's street, marshmallows lay/ On every Independence Day…

LISTENING FOR THE FIFE AND DRUM, OCEAN BEACH —

"He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance." — Declaration of Independence

"Ocean Beach has always been about freedom," says Ocean Beach Citizens Brigade Confectionary Sergeant Ralph Wegmans. "And now a tyranny — once benign, but now malignant — is seeking to curtail that freedom. Americans fought a war once to throw off such a tyranny. That's why we have an Independence Day. And this Independence Day, we are prepared to fight another war — a marshmallow war — to keep that tyranny at bay."

"Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered." — Thomas Paine

Wegmans is referring to the OB Town Council's effort to shut down the Ocean Beach Marshmallow War, held annually on July 4 since 1985. Town Council Loyalists have cited the mess created by the war: some 2000 pounds of trash last year alone, much of it hard-to-clean sugary goo. They also claim that military escalation has brought frozen and flaming marshmallows into the fray, increasing the danger to local citizenry.

Wegmans is unmoved. "Freedom isn't free," he insists. "It has always come with a price. This case is no different. If people aren't willing to brave the pillowy barrage, then perhaps they're living in the wrong place. Perhaps they would prefer PB, Land of a Thousand Checkpoints. Or La Jolla, the coven of covenants. But it's OB for me, the land of the free. God Bless Ocean Beach."

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On OB's street, marshmallows lay/ On every Independence Day…
On OB's street, marshmallows lay/ On every Independence Day…

LISTENING FOR THE FIFE AND DRUM, OCEAN BEACH —

"He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance." — Declaration of Independence

"Ocean Beach has always been about freedom," says Ocean Beach Citizens Brigade Confectionary Sergeant Ralph Wegmans. "And now a tyranny — once benign, but now malignant — is seeking to curtail that freedom. Americans fought a war once to throw off such a tyranny. That's why we have an Independence Day. And this Independence Day, we are prepared to fight another war — a marshmallow war — to keep that tyranny at bay."

"Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered." — Thomas Paine

Wegmans is referring to the OB Town Council's effort to shut down the Ocean Beach Marshmallow War, held annually on July 4 since 1985. Town Council Loyalists have cited the mess created by the war: some 2000 pounds of trash last year alone, much of it hard-to-clean sugary goo. They also claim that military escalation has brought frozen and flaming marshmallows into the fray, increasing the danger to local citizenry.

Wegmans is unmoved. "Freedom isn't free," he insists. "It has always come with a price. This case is no different. If people aren't willing to brave the pillowy barrage, then perhaps they're living in the wrong place. Perhaps they would prefer PB, Land of a Thousand Checkpoints. Or La Jolla, the coven of covenants. But it's OB for me, the land of the free. God Bless Ocean Beach."

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Comments
1

Dear Mr. Mencken, I want to tell you that I made the acquaintance of some angry sea gulls at Sunset Cliffs who got ill last year ingesting old marshmallows left curdling in the hot OB sun on the Day After July 4th.

They seemed to be quite perturbed & asked me if I knew of any good shyster lawyers so they could sue OB for emotional and stomach distress. I told the winged rats that the OB Town Council is determined to get things cleaned up this year so the gulls decided to go over to La Jolla & try and get nauseous from the fumes of bird poop at La Jolla Cove. They are still looking for a good shyster lawyer though.

June 28, 2014

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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