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Crude and Dangerous

Chris Doolittle says the all-percussion Procrastinators (who met in SDSU's Drumline) formed in 1999, when they built their first drum kit.

"We bought barstools at Wal-Mart and, using a lighter, we melted holes into the sides of plastic water bottles, which we had emptied into the bathtub. Then we shoved two wooden dowels into the bottles to mount them to each of the barstools on either side of the middle stool. We went to the Salvation Army between Montezuma and 70th to buy saucepans and hardware to mount them to the front of the barstools. The entire contraption was crude and dangerous but worked."

The big problem, he says, is how quickly their "instruments" are destroyed. "We break a water bottle a day. The original four bottles' cost is $15 per bottle when they weren't returned to Sparkletts. Subsequent bottles were 'borrowed' from numerous places around the county. We're up to our fifth generation of barstools; they were coming apart from being beat with heavy sticks... Cookware was typically costing us $3 to $5 per piece. The copper-bottom Revere cookware -- that lasted two hours -- cost us $80 for each set. I tried buying better cookware, but even the mid-range pots and pans just couldn't cut it."

While at the 2005 Monterey County Fair, the band hooked up with New Era Cookware, which provided sturdy seven-ply pots and pans. "We got eight sets.... The six pieces retail for around $2700. It's one of the biggest upgrades to our equipment."

The group now includes multiple incarnations that play frequently at places such as Legoland and as a touring ensemble.

"Last year, one of the teams was at a California fair and was propositioned to perform nude in a barn while people watched and videotaped it for $100. Needless to say, they turned her down.... Sometimes, we get drunk girls and women rubbing their butts on our backs while we perform."

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I tell my church that we have to stop seeing issues and start seeing people.

Chris Doolittle says the all-percussion Procrastinators (who met in SDSU's Drumline) formed in 1999, when they built their first drum kit.

"We bought barstools at Wal-Mart and, using a lighter, we melted holes into the sides of plastic water bottles, which we had emptied into the bathtub. Then we shoved two wooden dowels into the bottles to mount them to each of the barstools on either side of the middle stool. We went to the Salvation Army between Montezuma and 70th to buy saucepans and hardware to mount them to the front of the barstools. The entire contraption was crude and dangerous but worked."

The big problem, he says, is how quickly their "instruments" are destroyed. "We break a water bottle a day. The original four bottles' cost is $15 per bottle when they weren't returned to Sparkletts. Subsequent bottles were 'borrowed' from numerous places around the county. We're up to our fifth generation of barstools; they were coming apart from being beat with heavy sticks... Cookware was typically costing us $3 to $5 per piece. The copper-bottom Revere cookware -- that lasted two hours -- cost us $80 for each set. I tried buying better cookware, but even the mid-range pots and pans just couldn't cut it."

While at the 2005 Monterey County Fair, the band hooked up with New Era Cookware, which provided sturdy seven-ply pots and pans. "We got eight sets.... The six pieces retail for around $2700. It's one of the biggest upgrades to our equipment."

The group now includes multiple incarnations that play frequently at places such as Legoland and as a touring ensemble.

"Last year, one of the teams was at a California fair and was propositioned to perform nude in a barn while people watched and videotaped it for $100. Needless to say, they turned her down.... Sometimes, we get drunk girls and women rubbing their butts on our backs while we perform."

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