Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Landismom in New Jersey

This morning, as we were getting ready to go to the Farmer's Market, I threw a T-shirt and shorts on to my unshowered body. The Bee, in her ineffable way, was dressed to the nines in a polka-dotted skirt, pink shirt, and many pieces of plastic jewelry. She took one look at me and said, "You don't look that good. But it's not a fashion show." Then she shrugged and walked away.

Of course, I laughed out loud, and went to tell landisdad about her bout of precociousness. But it also made me think about my mom, and how I used to feel about the way she dressed. When I was growing up, my mom rarely wore makeup, and usually didn't bother dressing that well either. She was a stay-at-home mom until I was 7, but even when she went back to work, her wardrobe didn't improve that much -- she is a health care professional, and she mostly wore scrubs and those hideous white sneaker/shoes that all women health care workers wore in the '70s and '80s. She did wear makeup and would dress up on the rare occasions that she and my dad went out -- I was fascinated by her false eyelashes, and used to yearn for the day that I could wear them. I couldn't understand why she didn't wear them every single day. I also couldn't understand why, as an adult who had access to real capital, she wasn't spending her money to dress better. Of course, it never occurred to me that she was spending her money to dress me and my brothers, because I felt that my share of the clothing budget was so parsimonious as to be practically nonexistent.

I went through a phase in high school where I wore makeup religiously. I also went through years and years (when I was thin) where I wore clothes that were, how shall I say it, hootchie-ish. The miniskirt was my best friend. In fact, I used to regularly just wear shawls wrapped around my hips and butt, and pin them together for an even more daring look.

Since high school, I've spent most of my life with a naked face. I will wear lipstick on occasion, and sometimes (for reasons I'll have to blog about at another time), I'll just open a L'oreal lipstick and smell it for the Proustian effect I get. I've finally gotten to the point where I pay to have someone else cut my hair regularly, mostly because once I became a mom, I could no longer justify the time spent brushing out my extremely long hair any more, and had it all chopped off. But I've come to the conclusion that wearing makeup every day is way more trouble than it's worth -- not just because you have to spend so much time doing the makeup in the morning, but because you have to keep reapplying it during the day, and then removing it at night.

In some ways, I feel more and more every day that I'm turning into my mother. My mom has become a better dresser than she once was, and I've become a worse one. Especially since I've been working at home, wearing anything more than a T-shirt and some jeans or capris is dressy for me now. If you saw us on the street together, you'd be able to tell we are related, not just from our facial and physical similarities, but because of the way we present ourselves to the world too.

And I've also become the mom who spends way more time thinking about what her kids wear than what she does. The staggering pace of growth of kids under 6 does lead one to do a lot of shopping, after all. I've easily spent twice on the Bee's clothes in the last 6 years than I've spent on my own. The Sweet Potato is a little different -- he had a lot of hand-me-downs, although they're starting to run out. As a feminist, I worry sometimes that the Bee will turn into the kind of woman who spends all of her time thinking about her looks, and then I get convinced that a phase of the kind she's in now -- while it is culturally imposed -- is normal, and there's nothing to say she won't be a tomboy a year from now.

So here's a question for the women out there -- what ways are you and your mom most similar? What characteristics that you've gotten from your mom do you want to pass down from your children? And for the men, what are the strengths that your wife or partner shares with his/her mother, that you want your children to have?

bumblebeesweetpotato.blogspot.com

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Margaret Fuller: wrote first major work of feminism in the US

An inspiration on Walt Whitman
Next Article

Cheap alternative to the San Diego Zoo

Kangaroos, horses, ostriches, donkeys, goats, llamas, deer, camels

This morning, as we were getting ready to go to the Farmer's Market, I threw a T-shirt and shorts on to my unshowered body. The Bee, in her ineffable way, was dressed to the nines in a polka-dotted skirt, pink shirt, and many pieces of plastic jewelry. She took one look at me and said, "You don't look that good. But it's not a fashion show." Then she shrugged and walked away.

Of course, I laughed out loud, and went to tell landisdad about her bout of precociousness. But it also made me think about my mom, and how I used to feel about the way she dressed. When I was growing up, my mom rarely wore makeup, and usually didn't bother dressing that well either. She was a stay-at-home mom until I was 7, but even when she went back to work, her wardrobe didn't improve that much -- she is a health care professional, and she mostly wore scrubs and those hideous white sneaker/shoes that all women health care workers wore in the '70s and '80s. She did wear makeup and would dress up on the rare occasions that she and my dad went out -- I was fascinated by her false eyelashes, and used to yearn for the day that I could wear them. I couldn't understand why she didn't wear them every single day. I also couldn't understand why, as an adult who had access to real capital, she wasn't spending her money to dress better. Of course, it never occurred to me that she was spending her money to dress me and my brothers, because I felt that my share of the clothing budget was so parsimonious as to be practically nonexistent.

I went through a phase in high school where I wore makeup religiously. I also went through years and years (when I was thin) where I wore clothes that were, how shall I say it, hootchie-ish. The miniskirt was my best friend. In fact, I used to regularly just wear shawls wrapped around my hips and butt, and pin them together for an even more daring look.

Since high school, I've spent most of my life with a naked face. I will wear lipstick on occasion, and sometimes (for reasons I'll have to blog about at another time), I'll just open a L'oreal lipstick and smell it for the Proustian effect I get. I've finally gotten to the point where I pay to have someone else cut my hair regularly, mostly because once I became a mom, I could no longer justify the time spent brushing out my extremely long hair any more, and had it all chopped off. But I've come to the conclusion that wearing makeup every day is way more trouble than it's worth -- not just because you have to spend so much time doing the makeup in the morning, but because you have to keep reapplying it during the day, and then removing it at night.

In some ways, I feel more and more every day that I'm turning into my mother. My mom has become a better dresser than she once was, and I've become a worse one. Especially since I've been working at home, wearing anything more than a T-shirt and some jeans or capris is dressy for me now. If you saw us on the street together, you'd be able to tell we are related, not just from our facial and physical similarities, but because of the way we present ourselves to the world too.

And I've also become the mom who spends way more time thinking about what her kids wear than what she does. The staggering pace of growth of kids under 6 does lead one to do a lot of shopping, after all. I've easily spent twice on the Bee's clothes in the last 6 years than I've spent on my own. The Sweet Potato is a little different -- he had a lot of hand-me-downs, although they're starting to run out. As a feminist, I worry sometimes that the Bee will turn into the kind of woman who spends all of her time thinking about her looks, and then I get convinced that a phase of the kind she's in now -- while it is culturally imposed -- is normal, and there's nothing to say she won't be a tomboy a year from now.

So here's a question for the women out there -- what ways are you and your mom most similar? What characteristics that you've gotten from your mom do you want to pass down from your children? And for the men, what are the strengths that your wife or partner shares with his/her mother, that you want your children to have?

bumblebeesweetpotato.blogspot.com

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Ma’s House Chinese Halal: genuine Uyghur food

“Muslim people love lamb, and always with cumin.”
Next Article

Fire rings out in Oceanside – for good?

What about Coronado, Carlsbad, Imperial Beach, Del Mar?
Comments
0

Be the first to leave a comment.

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close