Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Can you help me dress in drag for Halloween?

Dear Matt:

After seeing Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I’m inspired to go full drag this Halloween. The problem is, I have no idea how to start! As a straight male who’s never dressed up in drag before, I have zero fashion sense, zero knowledge about makeup and wigs, don’t know what size dress I wear, or what outfits to avoid because they make my butt look big. And where does a fellow go to find platform heels for guy-sized feet? The nice ladies at the makeup counter at Nordstrom tried to be helpful, but this goes beyond their training. I hope there’s a place in San Diego where a guy can go to get a makeover, and I hope that you’re just the man to ask.

Sponsored
Sponsored

— Michael…or Michelle? Vista

The elves motored to Hillcrest for this one. Hillcrest at Halloween: what better playground for the aspiring gender illusionist? Well, Hillcrest in the middle of May, too, I guess. Anyway, the clothes, shoes, makeup, et cet. — that’s the easy stuff. Plenty of outrageous vintage stores on Fifth Avenue. Tata Lane, on Evans Place, sets aside guy-sized outfits, shoes included, for rental at Halloween. And they’ll have a makeup artist available that weekend. So will Lips, the wiggy drag-and-dine at Fifth and Nutmeg. A gracious and accommodating Tootie (www.tootie.com), who does a dynamite Cher, condensed her nine years of experience for you. So pay attention.

Sez Tootie: A drag queen’s best friends? “Big hair and duct tape, honey.” Big hair slims the appearance of a man’s larger face, neck, and shoulders. And it’s sexy. Ditto big eyelashes. Warns Tootie, “Leave the skin-tight dresses to the pros.” Got a beer gut? A skirt and loose top is your best fashion choice. A plunging neckline enhances the illusion of a slim face and neck and offers a chance for some naughty cleavage, achieved with the aforementioned duct tape. Yank your “back fat” (Tootie’s words) around to the front and tape it in place. “The higher the heels, the closer to God,” sez Tootie. Sexy spikes lengthen the appearance of your legs.

Of course, you can wear all the glamour rags you want, but if you don’t stand and move like a woman, then you’re just a nose tackle in a ball gown. Hold your chin in a bit closer to your neck and chest than usual. This also facilitates looking up sexily through your explosive eyelashes. Keep your elbows in, close to your body, to give you graceful arm and hand gestures. And most important, walk by placing one foot in front of the other, not with a man’s typically wider gait. Think “matador,” not “stevedore.” That also makes your butt look cute walking away, sez Tootie coyly. As we tumbled out of the red velvet cave that is Lips, Tootie called after us, “Oh, yes, how could I forget! Shave everything! Immediately!”

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

USD more than doubles student housing in Linda Vista

Adjunct faculty clamors to be included in expansion
Next Article

A rope course designed to resemble the Giant Dipper at Belmont Part

Maruta Gardner Playground - a parent's playground

Dear Matt:

After seeing Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I’m inspired to go full drag this Halloween. The problem is, I have no idea how to start! As a straight male who’s never dressed up in drag before, I have zero fashion sense, zero knowledge about makeup and wigs, don’t know what size dress I wear, or what outfits to avoid because they make my butt look big. And where does a fellow go to find platform heels for guy-sized feet? The nice ladies at the makeup counter at Nordstrom tried to be helpful, but this goes beyond their training. I hope there’s a place in San Diego where a guy can go to get a makeover, and I hope that you’re just the man to ask.

Sponsored
Sponsored

— Michael…or Michelle? Vista

The elves motored to Hillcrest for this one. Hillcrest at Halloween: what better playground for the aspiring gender illusionist? Well, Hillcrest in the middle of May, too, I guess. Anyway, the clothes, shoes, makeup, et cet. — that’s the easy stuff. Plenty of outrageous vintage stores on Fifth Avenue. Tata Lane, on Evans Place, sets aside guy-sized outfits, shoes included, for rental at Halloween. And they’ll have a makeup artist available that weekend. So will Lips, the wiggy drag-and-dine at Fifth and Nutmeg. A gracious and accommodating Tootie (www.tootie.com), who does a dynamite Cher, condensed her nine years of experience for you. So pay attention.

Sez Tootie: A drag queen’s best friends? “Big hair and duct tape, honey.” Big hair slims the appearance of a man’s larger face, neck, and shoulders. And it’s sexy. Ditto big eyelashes. Warns Tootie, “Leave the skin-tight dresses to the pros.” Got a beer gut? A skirt and loose top is your best fashion choice. A plunging neckline enhances the illusion of a slim face and neck and offers a chance for some naughty cleavage, achieved with the aforementioned duct tape. Yank your “back fat” (Tootie’s words) around to the front and tape it in place. “The higher the heels, the closer to God,” sez Tootie. Sexy spikes lengthen the appearance of your legs.

Of course, you can wear all the glamour rags you want, but if you don’t stand and move like a woman, then you’re just a nose tackle in a ball gown. Hold your chin in a bit closer to your neck and chest than usual. This also facilitates looking up sexily through your explosive eyelashes. Keep your elbows in, close to your body, to give you graceful arm and hand gestures. And most important, walk by placing one foot in front of the other, not with a man’s typically wider gait. Think “matador,” not “stevedore.” That also makes your butt look cute walking away, sez Tootie coyly. As we tumbled out of the red velvet cave that is Lips, Tootie called after us, “Oh, yes, how could I forget! Shave everything! Immediately!”

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Won't be waiting for horn section in Mahler

The dark night of the adrenal soul
Next Article

The ups and downs of Cel Cerro on a bike

Best outdoors times
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader