Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Put Something on Those Feet

"You’ll all regret that we didn’t spend more time like this."

Moe and Sue Greenberg. "Twenty years from now, mark my words, if you don’t watch it, you’ll get skin cancer."
Moe and Sue Greenberg. "Twenty years from now, mark my words, if you don’t watch it, you’ll get skin cancer."

Moe: Not with the bare feet!

Susie: Dad, I’m just going in the back yard.

Moe: I wouldn’t go out there with the bare feet, Susie. You don’t know what’s on the ground. Those birds are filthy; they carry disease…

Susie: Dad. It’s a lawn. The lawn feels good on bare feet…

Moe: Full of dogshit, I tell you…

Susie: Daddy, how would a dog get back here? You chase them all away…

Moe: Not too long out there, Susie…


Moe: It’s been a half an hour, Susie. You should take a break….

Susie: Why don’t you come outside, Daddy.

Moe: Because it’s hot as hell out there… And I hope you’re not getting burnt, young lady.

Susie: Fifteen more minutes, Dad. I just want a little sun before the party…

Moe: I’m going inside to fix some lunch… Whaddya say?

Susie: You know, I’m not hungry…

Moe: THIS is news…

Susie: I’m saving myself for dinner…

Moe: You know, if you just ate moderately, like I do…

Susie: Enough, Dad. No diet advice, okay?

Moe: See, you starve yourself during the day…

Susie: Dad!

Moe: Okay. Okay. Five more minutes and I’m calling you in…. Susie?

Susie: YES!

Moe: Did you hear me?

Susie: Dad, I heard you. Just a few more minutes.

Moe: The sun is directly overhead, now. The worst time to be sitting in the sun. They say these are the damaging sun rays.

Susie: Oh my God, Dad. Please…. Do I hear the phone ringing?

Moe: What?

Susie: The phone — it’s…

Moe: Son-of-a….

Susie: Should I get it?

Moe: You should get out of the sun! Son of a BITCH! BAS-tard. They HAVE to call when I’m outside…


Moe: Bastards!

Susie: Dad, don’t slam the door. You’re always yelling at me not to slam that sliding glass door and then you slam it and you’ll blame me when it breaks…. Who was on the phone?

Moe: DAMMIT. See how those moles are making holes in the lawn?

Susie: Who was on the phone, Dad?

Moe: Just a minute, just a minute! I’m not your secretary.

Susie: What are you doing with that stick, Dad?

Moe: Trying to collapse their tunnels. BASTARDS.

Susie: Who was on the phone, Dad?

Moe: What?

Susie: Who was it?

Moe: It was your mother.

Susie: What’d she want?

Moe: You won’t like it…

Susie: What did she want, Dad?

Moe: She says I shouldn’t let you sit out in the sun all day, you need to clean the house…

Susie: Fifteen minutes….

Moe: Okay, that’s enough, Susie. You’ve been out there for three-quarters of an hour….

Susie: It feels like fifteen minutes

Moe: Three quarters of an hour, already; I’ve been watching the clock.

Susie: Dad, let me just finish reading the paper and then I’ll come in and clean.

Moe: Here comes the birdie!

Susie: What birdie?

Moe: A little birdie that comes and visits me….

Susie: You must feed him — that’s the only reason he’s here…

Moe: Sure I feed him…see, he sits on the fence post and waits for me. Geez, this furniture looks like hell.

Susie: Yeah, it’s pretty old. You’ve had it since we were kids.

Moe: Shoulda painted it years ago….

Susie: …or at least covered it when it rained….

Moe: You kids used to love sitting around the table when I’d barbecue.

Susie: Why don’t you barbecue this weekend, Daddy? Some chicken, maybe.

Moe: Too much of a hassle. Wind blowing. Goddamn coals never stay hot. You gotta watch that chicken every minute….

Susie: Man, I remember that chicken.

Moe: I made a mean barbecued chicken, eh, Susie?

Susie: Yeah, you did, Dad. We loved your chicken…

Moe: It’s too hot out here. I’m going in to make lunch. Now you’re red, Susie. I can see it. You’re burning. Knock it off, already.

Susie: So what’s for lunch?

Moe: Sardine sandwich. I found one miserable can that wasn’t dented. You know to stay away from the dented cans, right?

Susie: Right, Dad.

Moe: Botulism.

Susie: Oh, for God’s sakes, Dad…

Moe: I’m dead serious! I read about it…

Susie: Five more minutes…

Moe: I’m making fried potatoes

Susie: You are? With the onions?

Moe: Yep.

Susie: You haven’t made those in years.

Moe: I know. Your mother doesn’t let me in the kitchen. Geez, I hope she bought the fat tomatoes…and watch, we’ll be out of ginger ale…. What we really need is a cream soda.

Susie: I used to love when we had cream soda at the deli. Remember, Dad? Diller’s on Fourth? You used to take me there after the orthodontist.

Moe: It’s a lousy record store now.


Moe: You know, we won’t be able to sit around and talk like this forever, Susie.

Susie: What do you mean?

Moe: I mean, one day, I’ll be gone — pass me some of that purple onion — and you’ll all regret that we didn’t spend more time like this, talking in the back yard. Having lunch.

Susie: You’re right, Daddy. I’ll miss this. Where’s the mustard?

Moe: Here…

Susie: …thanks

Moe: Wait! Wait! Wait! Not with that spoon…

Susie: Dad…

Moe: I’ll get a clean spoon…

Susie: Forget it, Dad.

Moe: No, no. I’ll get the spoon.

Susie: Weren’t you just saying how we won’t be able to do this forever? And then you get up and leave!

Moe: Keep your goddamn spoon out of that mustard till I get a clean one!

Susie: Okay, Dad. You win.

Moe: And you, big mouth, you’re getting too much sun — and that you’ll regret too. Twenty years from now, mark my words, if you don’t watch it, you’ll get skin cancer, I’m telling you… And as soon as we finish lunch, you come inside and clean the house for your mother. And put something on those feet!

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

What Beethoven's Fifth is not

An answer to vox.com
Next Article

La Jolla Elementary alumni

Bruce Robinson, Fred Benedetti, Nickel Creek, Black Licorice, Rob Halford
Moe and Sue Greenberg. "Twenty years from now, mark my words, if you don’t watch it, you’ll get skin cancer."
Moe and Sue Greenberg. "Twenty years from now, mark my words, if you don’t watch it, you’ll get skin cancer."

Moe: Not with the bare feet!

Susie: Dad, I’m just going in the back yard.

Moe: I wouldn’t go out there with the bare feet, Susie. You don’t know what’s on the ground. Those birds are filthy; they carry disease…

Susie: Dad. It’s a lawn. The lawn feels good on bare feet…

Moe: Full of dogshit, I tell you…

Susie: Daddy, how would a dog get back here? You chase them all away…

Moe: Not too long out there, Susie…


Moe: It’s been a half an hour, Susie. You should take a break….

Susie: Why don’t you come outside, Daddy.

Moe: Because it’s hot as hell out there… And I hope you’re not getting burnt, young lady.

Susie: Fifteen more minutes, Dad. I just want a little sun before the party…

Moe: I’m going inside to fix some lunch… Whaddya say?

Susie: You know, I’m not hungry…

Moe: THIS is news…

Susie: I’m saving myself for dinner…

Moe: You know, if you just ate moderately, like I do…

Susie: Enough, Dad. No diet advice, okay?

Moe: See, you starve yourself during the day…

Susie: Dad!

Moe: Okay. Okay. Five more minutes and I’m calling you in…. Susie?

Susie: YES!

Moe: Did you hear me?

Susie: Dad, I heard you. Just a few more minutes.

Moe: The sun is directly overhead, now. The worst time to be sitting in the sun. They say these are the damaging sun rays.

Susie: Oh my God, Dad. Please…. Do I hear the phone ringing?

Moe: What?

Susie: The phone — it’s…

Moe: Son-of-a….

Susie: Should I get it?

Moe: You should get out of the sun! Son of a BITCH! BAS-tard. They HAVE to call when I’m outside…


Moe: Bastards!

Susie: Dad, don’t slam the door. You’re always yelling at me not to slam that sliding glass door and then you slam it and you’ll blame me when it breaks…. Who was on the phone?

Moe: DAMMIT. See how those moles are making holes in the lawn?

Susie: Who was on the phone, Dad?

Moe: Just a minute, just a minute! I’m not your secretary.

Susie: What are you doing with that stick, Dad?

Moe: Trying to collapse their tunnels. BASTARDS.

Susie: Who was on the phone, Dad?

Moe: What?

Susie: Who was it?

Moe: It was your mother.

Susie: What’d she want?

Moe: You won’t like it…

Susie: What did she want, Dad?

Moe: She says I shouldn’t let you sit out in the sun all day, you need to clean the house…

Susie: Fifteen minutes….

Moe: Okay, that’s enough, Susie. You’ve been out there for three-quarters of an hour….

Susie: It feels like fifteen minutes

Moe: Three quarters of an hour, already; I’ve been watching the clock.

Susie: Dad, let me just finish reading the paper and then I’ll come in and clean.

Moe: Here comes the birdie!

Susie: What birdie?

Moe: A little birdie that comes and visits me….

Susie: You must feed him — that’s the only reason he’s here…

Moe: Sure I feed him…see, he sits on the fence post and waits for me. Geez, this furniture looks like hell.

Susie: Yeah, it’s pretty old. You’ve had it since we were kids.

Moe: Shoulda painted it years ago….

Susie: …or at least covered it when it rained….

Moe: You kids used to love sitting around the table when I’d barbecue.

Susie: Why don’t you barbecue this weekend, Daddy? Some chicken, maybe.

Moe: Too much of a hassle. Wind blowing. Goddamn coals never stay hot. You gotta watch that chicken every minute….

Susie: Man, I remember that chicken.

Moe: I made a mean barbecued chicken, eh, Susie?

Susie: Yeah, you did, Dad. We loved your chicken…

Moe: It’s too hot out here. I’m going in to make lunch. Now you’re red, Susie. I can see it. You’re burning. Knock it off, already.

Susie: So what’s for lunch?

Moe: Sardine sandwich. I found one miserable can that wasn’t dented. You know to stay away from the dented cans, right?

Susie: Right, Dad.

Moe: Botulism.

Susie: Oh, for God’s sakes, Dad…

Moe: I’m dead serious! I read about it…

Susie: Five more minutes…

Moe: I’m making fried potatoes

Susie: You are? With the onions?

Moe: Yep.

Susie: You haven’t made those in years.

Moe: I know. Your mother doesn’t let me in the kitchen. Geez, I hope she bought the fat tomatoes…and watch, we’ll be out of ginger ale…. What we really need is a cream soda.

Susie: I used to love when we had cream soda at the deli. Remember, Dad? Diller’s on Fourth? You used to take me there after the orthodontist.

Moe: It’s a lousy record store now.


Moe: You know, we won’t be able to sit around and talk like this forever, Susie.

Susie: What do you mean?

Moe: I mean, one day, I’ll be gone — pass me some of that purple onion — and you’ll all regret that we didn’t spend more time like this, talking in the back yard. Having lunch.

Susie: You’re right, Daddy. I’ll miss this. Where’s the mustard?

Moe: Here…

Susie: …thanks

Moe: Wait! Wait! Wait! Not with that spoon…

Susie: Dad…

Moe: I’ll get a clean spoon…

Susie: Forget it, Dad.

Moe: No, no. I’ll get the spoon.

Susie: Weren’t you just saying how we won’t be able to do this forever? And then you get up and leave!

Moe: Keep your goddamn spoon out of that mustard till I get a clean one!

Susie: Okay, Dad. You win.

Moe: And you, big mouth, you’re getting too much sun — and that you’ll regret too. Twenty years from now, mark my words, if you don’t watch it, you’ll get skin cancer, I’m telling you… And as soon as we finish lunch, you come inside and clean the house for your mother. And put something on those feet!

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

La Jolla Tide Pools meets Craftsman-style renovation

In its early days, the Kline House operated as La Jolla Sanatorium
Next Article

Nathan Fletcher, wife Lorena Gonzalez, and Ben Hueso roll in dough

Faulconer turns off police access to hidden cameras
Comments
0

Be the first to leave a comment.

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close