Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Why you don't hear about cancer of the butt or heart

“Gentlemen, start your replicators”

Dear Answer Boy: What makes cancer invade certain parts of the body and not others? Is there something unique about the tissue of the breast, prostate, stomach, rectum, or liver? I guess what I need to know is, how com I never hear about cancer of the butt? —Anally Curious, Oakland

Dear Matthew: Why is the heart the only organ that does not get cancer? Dennis, San Diego

Sponsored
Sponsored

Our pal Doctor Doctor was busy digging his cart out of a sand trap on the back nine, so I ran this one past the American Cancer Society and its consultants. Start preparing your crib sheets. There will be on the exam.

To begin with, what’s cancer? A general term for about 100 separate diseases, all characterized by uncontrolled proliferation of body cells. What cells in the body are potential cancer sites? Theoretically, all of them. Can you get cancer of the butt muscles, heart muscle? Theoretically, yes. Happen often? So far, never (I’m prepared to be contradicted on this one, though). So what’s the deal?

We all know that bur body cells die and replace themselves in seven-year cycles, yes? Bzzzzz Wrong, mitosis-breath. Some, especially our protective epithelial cells, are programmed to replace themselves very fast. On the other hand, nerve and muscle cells never renew themselves. (The ones you have can get bigger, you can get new ones, and some can die, but it’s not a renewal cycle.) Which type of cell do you think is more sensitive to a cancer signal that says, “Gentlemen, start your replicators”? Likewise, if cancer starts in one spot and is carried through the blood or lymph another, it doesn’t find as friendly a home in your glutes as in your lungs. This, at least, is one credible if simplified theory for why cancer prefers certain locations.

Soft-tissue cancers are called sarcomas. Rhabdomyosarcoma is cancer of striated muscle, e.g., your butt, your heart. Cancer of smooth muscle (e.g., uterus lining), leiomyosarcoma. Cancerous fat cells? Liposarcoma. Collagen tissue (bones, tendons, cartilage, connective tissue)? Fibrosarcoma. Joint lining? Synovial cell sarcoma. Kaposi’s sarcoma is a soft-tissue tumor that can arise anywhere blood vessels exist.

Heart muscle is covered by two protective membranes collectively called the mesothelium, site of malignant mesotheliomas. Like sarcomas, they’re rare, but they’re there. Take care.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Reader Music Issue short takes

Obervatory's mosh pit, frenetic Rafael Payare, Lemonhead chaos, bleedforthescene, Coronado Tasting Room

Dear Answer Boy: What makes cancer invade certain parts of the body and not others? Is there something unique about the tissue of the breast, prostate, stomach, rectum, or liver? I guess what I need to know is, how com I never hear about cancer of the butt? —Anally Curious, Oakland

Dear Matthew: Why is the heart the only organ that does not get cancer? Dennis, San Diego

Sponsored
Sponsored

Our pal Doctor Doctor was busy digging his cart out of a sand trap on the back nine, so I ran this one past the American Cancer Society and its consultants. Start preparing your crib sheets. There will be on the exam.

To begin with, what’s cancer? A general term for about 100 separate diseases, all characterized by uncontrolled proliferation of body cells. What cells in the body are potential cancer sites? Theoretically, all of them. Can you get cancer of the butt muscles, heart muscle? Theoretically, yes. Happen often? So far, never (I’m prepared to be contradicted on this one, though). So what’s the deal?

We all know that bur body cells die and replace themselves in seven-year cycles, yes? Bzzzzz Wrong, mitosis-breath. Some, especially our protective epithelial cells, are programmed to replace themselves very fast. On the other hand, nerve and muscle cells never renew themselves. (The ones you have can get bigger, you can get new ones, and some can die, but it’s not a renewal cycle.) Which type of cell do you think is more sensitive to a cancer signal that says, “Gentlemen, start your replicators”? Likewise, if cancer starts in one spot and is carried through the blood or lymph another, it doesn’t find as friendly a home in your glutes as in your lungs. This, at least, is one credible if simplified theory for why cancer prefers certain locations.

Soft-tissue cancers are called sarcomas. Rhabdomyosarcoma is cancer of striated muscle, e.g., your butt, your heart. Cancer of smooth muscle (e.g., uterus lining), leiomyosarcoma. Cancerous fat cells? Liposarcoma. Collagen tissue (bones, tendons, cartilage, connective tissue)? Fibrosarcoma. Joint lining? Synovial cell sarcoma. Kaposi’s sarcoma is a soft-tissue tumor that can arise anywhere blood vessels exist.

Heart muscle is covered by two protective membranes collectively called the mesothelium, site of malignant mesotheliomas. Like sarcomas, they’re rare, but they’re there. Take care.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

SDSU pres gets highest pay raise in state over last 15 years

Union-Tribune still stiffing downtown San Diego landlord?
Next Article

Nation’s sexy soldiers stage protest at Pendleton in wake of change in Marine uniform policy

Semper WHY?
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.