Dear Matthew: A cocktail waitress at Milligan’s told me that a maraschino cherry will stay in your stomach for four years. Something to do with the preservatives. This seems unlikely, at best, but it raises another question. Cherries are usually dark red. What do they do, soak them in Clorox first and then rinse them and dye them bright red? — Jeff in P.B.

At least you turned to us in your hour of bewilderment and didn’t order another round of facts from the waitress. (’Scuse me while I make a note to find out why health-food fanatics believe we have a lifetime’s worth of Double Whoppers and Lucky Charms in our stomachs — that preservatives make foods indigestible and immune to peristaltic action. It’s a recurring theme.) One day, before Milligan’s opens up maybe, cruise through the canned fruits section of your local foodaterium. There you’ll find what are called Royal Anne cherries. They’re kind of pale pinkish-gold and are sold mostly as processed fruit, not fresh. That sticky red ball at the bottom of your double Manhattan started life as a Royal Anne. Soak ’em in brine for a while, add a bunch of sugar, some bitter almond oil, and douse ’em with red dye #40, and there you have it. The process was invented in the 1920s as a way to preserve the fruit for year-round sales. The big, juicy, dark-red dudes are Bing or Montmorency or some other variety grown to be sold fresh (excellent for bribing the M.A. staff, by the way, as are pistachio nuts). Don’t go to bars for health tips, Jeff.