Two things just as sure as the turning of the Earth: the one-joke format is best suited for seven-minute cartoons, and no one made films about characters they didn’t like better than Hitchcock. When mixed together in Canadian writer-director-star Pat Mills’s (Secondary High) second feature, the results are anything but funny. A vodka-soaked, deep-in-denial former child star (Mills) sets out to “create his own reality,” steals the identity of a guidance counselor off YouTube, and lands a job at a local high school. For an hour, he dispenses terrible advice to the students, all of which – surprise! – works to their advantage. If you thought Whiplash painted a ruinous portrait of the educational system, wait until you set sight on the dilatory band of stick-figure dilettantes that populate this teacher’s lounge. It might have helped if at least one of Mills’s three hats weren’t such a snug fit. (2014) — Scott Marks
This movie is not currently in theaters.