Mark Wahlberg and Mel Gibson aren’t real world men of God, but they play them in the movies. Wahlberg stars as Stuart Long, a hard-living pugilist whose doctor cautions that it’s time to hang up the gloves. Next stop: showbiz, where homophobic Stu counters a casting agent’s advances with one punch. (If Wahlberg was so intent on playing a showbiz priest, why not a remake of Going My Way with Gibson in the Barry Fitzgerald role?) What ultimately draws a guy who doesn’t have the good sense not to drop f-bombs in the confessional to the clergy? Carmen (Teresa Ruiz), a pretty face who Stu eventually beat down, but not before going three or four rounds of “No!” means “Yes!” Stu’s estranged parents, played by Oscar® winners Jacki Weaver and Gibson, are disgusted by their son’s decision. (Gibson’s likening Stu’s quest to Hitler joining the A.D.L. earns a satirically contemptuous chuckle.) The former underwear model proves he still has what it takes — the womenfolk swoon when Wahlberg removes his shirt to be baptized — but when it comes to providing a rationale for the ultimate conversion, writer-director Rosalind Ross comes up empty and Wahlberg can’t act what isn’t there. (2022) — Scott Marks