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The artistry and emotion inherent in Walt Disney’s original is lost on goth babysitter Tim Burton’s pixelated pachyderm. Half the time, Dumbo stands around looking like a pair of soaked fireplace hand-bellows parked in a corner and left to dry. Burton’s decision to mute the animals and instead focus on a cast of overpriced actors was an elephantine blunder. Ain’t nobody got time for a widowed one-armed cowboy (Colin Farrell) and his soporific little ones (Nico Parker and Finley Hobbins) when there’s a flying baby elephant in the room. At almost twice the length of its glorious predecessor, Burton once again proves that the dirtiest words in his personal lexicography of cinema are pacing and structure. Scene after scene drags on long after its purpose has played out. Sadly, the PC police had their way here, so no drunken calfs. Crows on a wire are also verboten, but it’s okay for Ringmaster Danny DeVito to browbeat his marble-mouthed African-American strongman (Deobia Oparei). And with Mrs. Jumbo silenced, who better than the circus fat lady to sing “Baby Mine”? Disney’s flew. Burton’s blew. A more unnecessary (and awful) remake has yet to be made. Avoid this as one would a shit-dipped leper. (2019) — Scott Marks

Rated PG | 1 hour, 55 minutes
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I watched this movie with my boyfriend the day before yesterday and did not regret it. Although the film was announced as a family one, I enjoyed watching it very much, as I plunged into my childhood and thought: “I’d see such a film in second grade with my dad and mom. A good fairy tale for children, without claiming more. I can’t say that my boyfriend enjoyed the film, rather from its individual elements - DeVito, Niko, Dumbo himself, a circus. He considers himself a great connoisseur of cinema, and he said his own opinion after the film. “Dumbo” is an excellent movie for viewers of the youngest age whose upper threshold is ending 13-14 years. I watched the whole show and thought: “Why did Dumbo entrust Burton? Disney, who loves literal film versions much more (Cinderella, The Beauty and the Beast,) judging by the commercials, this also includes Aladdin and The Lion King) What is the improvisation on the subject of old fairy tales (“Maleficent”), why did you take Tim in Dumbo? No, seriously, this director is known primarily for his deliberate grotesqueness and gloominess, and this elephant is alien to flying elephant. If he was entrusted with the second “Maleficent,” no questions - there and the gloom is required, and you can play, but here?

April 29, 2019

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