The plague that began at the Scramble’s Bat Soup Co. in Wuhan washes up on American shores, instantly turning all who come in contact with the invisible enemy into a horde of flesh-eating ghouls. A little over a month under lockdown, and already a feature-length attempt to novelize the novel coronavirus for small screen consumption? How, you ask? Technically, this exceeds the 60-minute running time needed to call it a feature by 60 seconds. It’s also what folks like to call a “Frankenstein picture,” tidbits plucked from various sources — one part Italian horror oldie (Hell of the Living Dead, 1980), one part instant titty-teaser (Zombies vs Strippers, 2012) — and scattered amongst a smattering of newly-shot bridging sequences. All but the extant footage has been redubbed to include a laundry list of newsworthy references (washing hands, social distancing, toilet paper squirrels, etc.) as well as an abundance of never-less-than-topical ogling. Funny and imaginative, you ask? Not in the least bit. Charles Band is the only one of three directors involved to receive screen credit. (2020) — Scott Marks