Almost Factual News Entries for November, 2011

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Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Begin Implementing "Pop-Up" Locations

Popular Restaurant Trend Inspires Retailers to Sell Product at Temporary "Streetcorner Shops." "I don't know why we didn't think of ...

La Jolla Stem Cell Laboratory Replaced with "Labattoiry"

MUTTERING SOMETHING ABOUT A BRAVE NEW WORLD, LA JOLLA - The quest to follow the German philosopher Gottfried Leibniz's dictum ...

SANDAG Releases 2050 Regional Travel Plan

Report's surprising title: 2050: The Return of the Horse Critics say Association's predictions of dystopian future in which automobiles are ...

San Diego Pastor Calls Tim Tebow "God's Quarterback"

Megachurch Pastor Sees Almighty's Hand at Work in Chargers' Loss "Everybody thought Christ was a failure, too - right up ...

Local Pro-Life Group Protests Maltreatment of Fin-Whale Fetus

San Diego Chapter of the Baby Burial Brigade Demands "Dignified Burial at Sea" for Whale Fetus Found on Beach "Just ...

Fin Whales Vow to Re-Occupy Point Loma Beach

Outraged, Enormous Mammals to Continue Protest at Point Loma Wastewater Treatment Plant Despite Eviction by Authorities Translated whalesong: "They've been ...

Coach Turner Promises Miracle Turnaround for His Fantasy Football Team

Embattled Coach-Provocateur Says He Laments Injuries, Refuses to Blame Woes on Players, Expects Better Things in Near Future "I'll miss ...

Daddy Issues

Ocotillo Wells Teen Claims Paternity of Lakeside resident Mariah Yeater's Justin Beiber-Hoax Baby "She's purty. And famouser than me. And ...

A Peek Behind the Curtain

Dearest SD on the QT readers: We here at SD on the QT prefer, as a rule, not to show ...

Papa's Got A Brand New Rag

To Celebrate Acquisition of Union-Tribune "Papa Doug" Manchester Adopts New Familial Nickname." "No more 'Papa.' Just call me 'Big Brother'!" ...

UCSD: Best Prank Ever

Senior Class Fabricates Existence of Korean "Artist," Cons Stuart Collection into Hanging House Off Edge of Seven-Story Building Stuart Collection ...

Taxi Drivers to Be Heard on Decency Demands

Livery Laborers Lament Lardy Lovers' Lecherous Liasons "Yaa Raabi - put that sh*t away!" Attention, amorous San Diegans, especially those ...

Growth Market

Playboy Enterprises Inc. Gives $40 Million Grant to Local Biotech Orgonovo to Speed Production of "Organ Printer" "We believe this ...

Put It on a Postcard!

San Diego Selects Unfinished Central Library as City's Official "Iconic Image" "When you've got weather like this..." Much has been ...

UCSD Responds to Cheating Report: "We Prefer to Think of It As Preparing Students for Success."

UCSD Dept. of Graduate Admissions: "If by 'cheating,' you mean 'optimizing performance,' then I'm not sure why we're having this ...

Vanity Fair, Vanity Fair, All Is Vanity Fair

City of Chula Vista Demands, Receives Apology from Fancy National Magazine "Who you callin' 'sputtering'? Have you even seen Eastlake?" ...

"Don't Worry, There Will Be Eggs"

Plan for 500-foot "Rabbit Ears" sculpture on Navy Pier elicits confusion, concern. "Everybody loves bunnies!" SIX ROUNDS IN AT THE ...

Efforts by San Diegan Help Critically Endangered Chupacabra

FEVERISHLY DIALING THE PEOPLE AT ANIMAL PLANET - As recently as five years ago, the Chupacabra was in danger of ...

Stopping the Brown Tide

Critics Say Plan to Rebuild U.S.-Mexico Pacific Ocean Border Fence Will Do Little to Stop Influx of Invasive Brown Kelp ...

Senior Volunteer Police Association Endorses District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis

On Thursday afternoon, just after naptime but before the early-bird specials start at Denny's and IHOP, the California Reserve Senior ...

Philip Rivers to Coach Turner: "Please Stop Making Me Throw All Those Interceptions"

Unsubtle, Earnest Quarterback Begs Coach-Provocateur To Be Allowed to Throw to Teammates "Frankly, I don't understand it. What kind of ...

Unhappy Ending?

In Snafu, SDPD Permits & Licensing Unit Reports on Massage Parlors Wind Up on Happy Ending Review Site "We meant ...

In Bold Step Forward, Patrick Henry High School Selects Husky Lesbian Couple as Left and Right Offensive Tackle

Coaches Cite "Toughness, Rage, and a Low Center of Gravity" as Deciding Factors in Historic Gesture "These young ladies have ...

DUI Checkpoint Targets SDSU

Related. Picture source.

In Bold Step Forward, Patrick Henry High School Selects Pretty Lesbian Couple As Homecoming King and Queen

Fellow Students Cite Hotness As Crucial Deciding Factor in Historic Gesture "Up until now, they've all been kind of butch. ...

Three's a Trend: Will "Jack the Stripper" Strike Again?

It began with Rebecca Zahau, the 32-year-old woman found bound, naked, and hanged by her neck from the second-floor balcony ...

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