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Megachurch Pastor Sees Almighty's Hand at Work in Chargers' Loss

"Everybody thought Christ was a failure, too - right up until the Big Game on Easter Sunday."

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When Tim Tebow put in an appearance at the Sunday morning worship service at Point Loma's This Rock church prior to facing the San Diego Chargers yesterday afternoon, Pastor League LaFarge did not "fumble" the opportunity to incorporate the Denver quarterback and outspoken Christian into his sermon.

"I'm telling you, people," said LaFarge, "that damnable papist Rivers and his pack of unrighteous receivers will not inherit the kingdom of Lombardi! Remember: blessed is the man who runs not the plays of the heathen Turner, nor throws his passes to a criminal like Jackson, but whose delight is the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His playbook day and night."

The congregation, composed largely of Chargers supporters, shifted uneasily in its collective seat, apparently unprepared for the awful demand that their faith was putting on their fandom. LaFarge was ready for them: "It's right there in Second Corinthians; you just have to know how to read the text. God said to Tim Tebow, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore you should boast all the more gladly about your weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on you. That is why, for Christ’s sake, you may delight in weaknesses, in weak throws, in sloppy execution, in dropped passes, in forgotten routes. For when you am weak, then I am strong.'

"And he speaks to the rest of the NFL's ball-tossers when he says, in First Corinthians, "Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are MVP's by the standards of this age, you should become flameouts so that you may become MVPs. For the quarterback-rating of this world is foolishness in God’s sight."

Reached Monday for comment, LeFarge was still beaming over Tebow's victory. "The world counts his performance as folly. Under 200 yards passing? So few yards on so many carries? Pitiful. But the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong."

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Comments

Evelyn Nov. 28, 2011 @ 3:53 p.m.

i need to remember what section i'm reading before i read an article. i nearly had a heartattack reading the 'pastor's' interpretation of Corinthians.

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Gail Powell Nov. 28, 2011 @ 6:10 p.m.

Pastor League LaRoach would like to invite all Reader employees to come to a special salvation sanctuary service. Despite the fact that a Godly man, Jim Holman rides you Reader writers hard, more needs to be done in a spiritual manner to save your souls.

Pastor LaRoach and his female disciples, the Godly Groupies, will endlessly toil to appease the Lord in regard to the Reader heathens and blasphemers that make fun of pious football players and chastity-belt (and wristband) wearing Church attendees. It will take a long time and much ecumenical work to cleanse the Reader employees of the depths of their depravities, but if fervent prayers and much supplication is offered on their behalf by righteous, upright people of the Lord, perhaps a few from the pit of vipers might be saved.

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SurfPuppy619 Nov. 28, 2011 @ 9:01 p.m.

Pastor LaRoach and his female disciples, the Godly Groupies, will endlessly toil to appease the Lord in regard to the Reader heathens and blasphemers that make fun of pious football players and chastity-belt (and wristband) wearing Church attendees. == You had me at "female disciples, the Godly Groupies"!

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