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City of Chula Vista Demands, Receives Apology from Fancy National Magazine

"Who you callin' 'sputtering'? Have you even seen Eastlake?"

BORED TO DEATH IN THE DULLEST CITY IN AMERICA - "Sometimes," said Chula Vista Mayor Cheryl Cox, "it feels like the biggest part of being mayor of this town is defending it from vicious attacks by snooty big-city 'journalists.' I mean, they don't have to come here, you know? We're not going around bragging about how great we are, so why do they feel like they need to take us down?"

Cox was referring (this time) to Dana Vachon's article in Vanity Fair about the famed Winklevoss twins, who are currently training at Chula Vista's Olympic Training Center. In the article, Vachon wrote:

"The Winklevosses have been living and training in the California border town of Chula Vista since last December. It is a sputtering neon error of beauty academies and pawnshops, recently terrorized by a homicidal Tijuana drug gang skilled at dissolving bodies in chemicals."

"I mean, damn," marveled Cox. "Sounds like someone ate at the wrong food truck, know what I mean?"

Cox wrote a letter to the magazine seeking an apology, and today, she got one. SD on the QT has obtained a copy of Vanity Fair's response, the body of which is reproduced below:

"Thank you for your eloquent statement on behalf of your curiously named town. We have spoken with Ms. Vachon, and have concluded that action is indeed called for. On behalf of Vanity Fair, Ms. Vachon would like to extend her apologies to the City of Chula Vista. First, for mistaking the city's many thrift stores for pawnshops. Second, for suggesting that he presence of gangsters skilled at dissolving bodies in chemicals caused anything more than a resigned shrug in the populace. Third, for suggesting that the city's many fine neon signs are sputtering, instead of shining with a steady, garish glow.

The paragraph in question will be replaced in the online edition of the article with the following:

'The Winklevosses have been living and training in the California border town of Chula Vista since last December. It is a sprawling, cancerous tumor of McMansions and barrios, recently devastated by a disastrous wave of foreclosures that left many neighborhoods looking like post-apocalyptic ruins.'

In closing, please know that everyone here at Vanity Fair hates your little crap town, and looks forward to the day when California south of Los Angeles slides into the sea."

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Comments

kearnykomet71 Nov. 11, 2011 @ 5:53 a.m.

Chula Juana should be famous for having the most donut shops in San Diego County.

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cscotter Nov. 11, 2011 @ 7:31 a.m.

Mayor Cox asked for an apology and got a more inaccurate, hateful remark from Vanity Fair. As a property tax payer in Chula Vista, I DO NOT want a cent of the city's money hosting any of those elitist New Yorkers in our city, but there's no chance of their visiting with their terrorist remark that they wish we'd all slip into the ocean. I encourage the City to sue Vanity Fair for willful slander. The magazine has long been a den of biased reporters and we should all boycott it.

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WT_Effman Nov. 26, 2011 @ 1:18 p.m.

Don't worry about those Vanity Fair comments, Chula Vista. Those people are high on industrial fumes, hair spray and bad cocaine.

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