Susan Luzzaro 4:30 p.m., Dec. 11
The palindrome of Bolton would be notloB!
Today's Runner-Up is just plain super-sweet. Want. So. Badly.
Throwing out the No-Prize today to the following:
Cinderella--A 21st-Century Fairy Tale
Once upon a Friday afternoon, there was a UCSD sophomore whose hippie parents had named her "Cinderella" in a fit of poor judgment. She was always relieved that her brother Rumplestiltskin had gotten a worse deal than her, but she still asked all her friends to call her Cindy, which they did. Except for when they got too drunken on Gatorade and Grey Goose, then everybody called her Cinderella in front of cute boys and she got all embarrassed and turned the most magnificent shade of red.
One day, Cindy was sitting at home in her apartment and her Fairy Godmother (Florence) appeared. Cindy was surpised to see Florence because, since Florence had released her from a life of cruel servitude at the hands of her anachronistically seventeenth-century stepmother (who was wicked nasty in all aspects), Cindy had lived a fairly trouble-free life. She had begun living as a vegetarian and was running three miles a day. Why Florence should appear un-summoned was a mystery.
"Hi, Cindy" said Florence.
"Um, hi" Cindy replied. "What's up?"
"Oh, not much" said Florence. "Just popping in to see if you'd be interested in this beige coach I've got kicking around. It's in very good condition."
"Not really, I've still got the coach from last time and it's costing me a fortune in parking tickets. Did you know there's an ordinance against horse drawn carriages in on public streets?"
"Oh." Florence seemed defeated. "Are you sure? It's good and strong, also very confortable (sic) if you're into that sort of thing."
"Strong how? Strong like Wild Turkey or strong like a caber tosser?"
"It's just strong. Take that how you want to."
"Well, where am I supposed to put it?"
"Oh! It's non-invasive!" Florence chirped, elated at the chance to use the beige coach's other, even more cryptic selling point.
"Mmmmm....I don't think so" Cindy said. "It's kind of shoddy and old."
"Just buy a throw!"
"To throw it away?"
"It's a palindrome."
"No it's not!"
"Oh. The other thing then, a pun."