Don Bauder 7:58 a.m., Dec. 13
All sorts of amazing things happen when I turn my back on the interwebs: this guy learned how to spell "Fender;" maybe he read my blog wherein I pointed out his literary shortcoming? Somebody down the road from me is flipping bike frames which I am 100% certain he bought in Chula Vista for $5 each about two weeks ago (I saw the ad then and wanted one. Now's my chance!). Also, the phrase all good stuff for burning has finally been uttered in English!
Anyways, guess who's back for a Runner-Up award? That's right, it's Frogtoes! What's this, his third, Runner-Up award? I'd feel bad for keeping my man Frogtoes off the winners' pedestal if victory in this contest was worth something more than the respect and adulation of the six (6) people who read this.
And the moment of truth, the day's big winner, edging out Frogtoes by a plastic hair's breadth:
I'll just give you a little time to click that link...
Let it load up...
Let you take it all in...
You get there yet?
Not what you expected, was it? Certainly took me by surprise. "Gee," I thought, "I sure do like Halloween. Particularly with double bangs (!!) attached. I wonder what... Whoa! Hey-o, Drag Queen! Definitely didn't see you standing there in your calf-high boots and flower child shirtdresssmocksuit thing. O-Tay! I was expecting a plastic jack-o-lantern or a dangley skeleton or something, but hey, whatever, SURPRISE! Drag queens can be hiding anywhere, right. They could be right behind you.
You can see why I had to pass the wonder along. Pay it forward, yeah?
Well then, as lists have been the order of the day lately:
Potential Halloween Costumes For Yours Truly
Mario and Luigi: As I am tall and skinny, I require a shorter, fatter, equally mustache growing friend to complete the get-up. Plans for Halloween as Mario and Luigi: Get drunk and jump on turtles and mushrooms. Inspiration: Viral video, natch.
Animaniacs: I've actually run this idea by a guy and girl friend combo. They have other plans, but wouldn't I make a killer Yakko? I was watching this show the other day and I'd forgotten how tremendously cool it was. I was a little too "mature" for it back in the day, but in retrospect I should have relaxed a bit and enjoyed some fine TV. How did I forget that Wakko had the voice of Ringo Starr? Awesome. Plans for Halloween as Animaniacs: Memorize all those awesome songs. Get drunk and sing those awesome songs ad infinitum. Inspiration: I actually know almost the whole song already. Hellyer!
Jay and Silent Bob: My best friend and I dressed up as Jay and Silent Bob for two years in a row when we were teens. (He lives in San Diego too) Doing so again would be unspeakably lame. Doing so with a sense of irony, however, would of course be unspeakably hip. Plans for Halloween as Jay and Silent Bob: Get drunk and recite Clerks monologues. Inspiration: Stuff I thought was the epitome of cool during childhood (I still do think this...)
Dress Up as Roommate and Vice Versa: Did I mention my best friend from childhood is actually my roommate in the lightless, torture dungeon? Well, he is. Basically, this costume consists of borrowing my roommate's clothing, lending my roommate some clothing, and then irritating everybody by making them guess who I am for Halloween. Prolly no one will get it. Plans for Halloween: Get drunk and find it hilarious that I dressed as my roommate (and vice versa) for Halloween. Inspiration: What can I say, I live with the guy and he's my best friend. Plus, we shamelessly promote each others' blogging efforts.
90's Kid: Since all the cool kids rock mullets and dress like it's 1985 all over again, it seems prudent to do some sort of "Man of the Future" thing and get all done up in the raddest fashions of 1990's youth. I'm feeling a set of overalls held up by just one strap and a No Fear shirt. If I can get some sneakers with pumps in the tongues, all the better. This costume works best if I can get a girl to join me with an ensemble of stirrup pants, flannel shirt, and scrunchie. Plans for Halloween as 1990's Man of the Future: Get drunk and try to get someone to recite the theme song from "Fresh Prince." Inspiration: Endless. But Angst for the memories!