Contractions and negatives in song titles — “Don’t Know,” “Can’t Give,” “What I’m Trying” — convey the anguish
Andrew Hamlin 1 p.m., July 29
Sigh. Thank heaven for the Catholic Church, or else who would provide the framework of moral absolutes for true love to dismantle? The trouble starts right in the description: "Suburban supermom Eileen Cleary (Academy Award® nominee Kathleen Turner) has been nominated for the coveted Catholic Woman of the Year Award at her local parish..."
See, Catholics are not supposed to covet. It's right there in the Ten Commandments. Hey-yo! Anyway, stunt casting alert: that's Richard "Thorn Birds" Chamberlain as yet another handsome cleric!
Remember the days when scandalous Catholic stories involved priests sleeping with girls? Hee hee!
My favorite bit:
You're living in sin!
What do you think?
I don't have to think! I'm a Catholic!
See, it's funny because Catholics are stupid.