Following campaign stop in Vista, Bernie Sanders hunts down and kills wild investment banker at the San Diego Safari Park
Walter Mencken 2 p.m., May 26
Word has just come down that The Dark Knight Rises has garnered a PG-13 rating for, among other things, "some sensuality." Hmmmm. Maybe we were right about Bane and Batman...
"Hey Bane, this outdoor dance club is cool, but it's awfully public, you know?"
"I was thinking maybe you and I could get out of here - you know, go somewhere quieter."
"Oh, Bats - do you mean it? I mean, I don't know. I'd love to, of course, but I know how you are about secrets. I don't think I could be with a man who was always hiding his true self behind a mask."
"Bane. For you - only for you - I will take off my mask. I want to be totally open with you. Exposed. Vulnerable."
"Hey, whoa there! You can't just yank it off! It's got a clasp in back!"
Poor Bane, ruining the moment because he's just too darn eager.