"Who gives a crap about roads and water and garbage like that when there are groped breasts and tongued throats to be considered?"

PRESS CONFERENCE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW - "Our taxpayers deserve a City Council that can do its work without having to constantly think and talk about sexy sex sexual sex harrassment, with all its sexy sexiness. MY GOD THERE IS SO …

Convention organizers: "We must never have a repeat of 2012's Saturday Stampede. These seemingly harmless creatures can turn deadly under the wrong conditions."

HIGH UP ON THE G4 GEEK CENTRAL PLATFORM, LOOKING DOWN AT THE SWARMING MASS OF SUBHUMANITY BELOW — "For years, the average fanboy or girl attending the Con was mostly placid and gentle, despite its intimidating size," says Comic-Con Traffic …

"Of course, here at Cheetah's Totally Nude, we do better because we work without panties on, just like the Mayor said."

As details from the sexual harassment allegations against Mayor Bob Filner continue to spill out, at least one local business is making sure that the whole sticky mess doesn't distract from the business at hand. "In fact," says Cheetah's owner …

Former Democratic Congressman, disgraced after sending explicit text pics, says he regrets resigning in 2011, praises Filner's "firm grip" on his office.

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/15/49160/ "Looking back," says Weiner, "I can see that my resignation was a selfish act. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my actions, and I wanted to get out of the public eye and away from the media spotlight. But …

Apple blames latest mistake on faulty map app's interactivity with Apple iNews app

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/15/49155/ San Diego's downtown - that's the train station in the lower left quadrant - clearly mislabeled. Apple CEO Tim Cook: "Every day and in every way, we are working to make Apple Maps a more satisfying, informational user experience. …

"Quite frankly, we find the resemblance a bit uncanny."

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/15/49142/ Alfred E. who, man?

"This lil' pussy just won't quit, and neither should you!" reads former President's inscription

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/15/49139/ Still no word, however, from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

These things happen

Statement from U-T San Diego Chief Copyeditor Ti Po: "U-T San Diego remains committed to quality, objective journalism. Sexual harassment is no laughing matter. We regret the error...that Bob Filner made." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/12/49075/

"Saying 'sorry' isn't enough," said Donafria at a press conference today in which she repeated her call for the Mayor to step down. "He must be punished, because he is guilty. I know that no charges have been brought, that …

The power of Strong Mayor is simply too much for some men.

Yesterday, Emperor, er, Mayor Filner issued a video apology to the City of San Diego for his "inappropriate and wrong" behavior towards women who work both for him and with him. "I have diminished the office to which you elected …

Emperor Filner's beloved First Lady of San Diego deserts him, citing "devolvement in personal relationship" and "knowing which way the wind is blowing."

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/11/48999/

Warning: not for the squeamish.

The following photo was delivered to the offices of SD on the QT by a man who would identify himself only as a Friend of Carl. Confirmations are still pending, but the scene appears to depict: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/11/48996/ Emperor Filner (1.) …

Local fast-food exec vows to remodel North Park restaurant without "traveling down the Sunroad and dropping off a sack of cash at the foot of Filner's latest pet project."

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/11/48990/ A photo sent from Mr. Box's office to Mr. Filner's office and later obtained by SD on the QT via outright theft. "Bob Filner thinks he can put a stop to a restaurant remodel approved by his own Planning …

Former Member of the High Council Donafria turns on former ally against the Development Hordes that have so long despoiled our peace, calls for his removal.

The scene, as recounted by Donafria in her impassioned speech just before taking her own life on the floor of the Senate: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/11/48988/ UPDATE: Tibobius responds: "Qui licit Jovi non licit bovi!"

"One day, they announce his resignation, and the next, he's gone - poof."

Was struggling exec sacrificed to the baseball gods? "Look," said Padres Executive Chairman Ron Fowler, who took over Garfinkel's post as interim President, "Garfinkel's demise, er, departure was always part of the pact, er, plan. I grant that the timing …

Former Deputy Chief of Staff Allen Jones dies shortly after consuming "foraged mushroom tart" at The Linkery.

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/02/48461/ Filnero: "You want humiliation? I crucified St. Peter upside down!" Emperor Filnero's longtime aide and counsel Allen Jones died just days after resigning his post over charges of "ritual humiliation" perpetrated by Filnero on his staff, SD on the …

In wake of Irene McCormack's resignation, Mayor-turned-Emperor appoints someone he can trust to deliver his messages to the masses.

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/02/48443/ A Sunroad for the Sun God - when you think about it, it's only fitting. First statement from Communications Director Incitatus: "As the Sunroad scandal threatens to distract the people from the glory of Emperor Bobigula's, His Divine Lordship …

First prize to whichever chalk artist comes up with the finest fill-in-the-blank.

The City Attorney's office suffered another public relations setback today over its attempt to prosecute a man who wrote anti-bank slogans in chalk outside some San Diego banks. "Assistant City Attorney Paige Hazard has already stated that 'chalk festivals may …

Rapper/City Attorney fires back after Mayor ejects Assistant City Attorney Andrew Jones from closed session meeting

Related Man, f-ck tha police force and the unwarranted use thereof/ Bob Filner's just an iron fist wrapped in a sandpaper glove/ Man's been keeping Secrets just like he's Rhonda Byrne/ Don't have to keep me apprised? Bob, sit down, …

As the nation waits for the Supreme Court's ruling on the constitutionality of Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that outlawed gay marriage in this state, San Diego Congressmanly Huncan Dunter has called for another ballot initiative, this one also …