A good year for women on film, as exemplified in new releases The Eyes of My Mother, Miss Sloane, and more
Matthew Lickona 5 p.m., Dec. 9
There's certainly a touch of deseperation to the Runner-Up for today:
How does one get saddled with an unwanted board. Especially one which is apparently so offensive that THE AD MUST BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS to try and effect the most rapid possible sale. I remain glad that I have never been and will never be in such dire straits, board game wise.
Heading in the exact opposite direction, away from "desperate to get rid of" and towards "desperately wanting" we have:
Looking for a "nice zebra rug" is like earning a Ph.D. in Oxymoronics. If ever there were two phrases which had no place modifying each other, it were "nice" and "zebra rug."
Of course, being in "pursuit" of a zebra rug is something entirely different. "Pursuit" adds elements of danger. One cannot help but envision the thrill of the hunt on the open Serengeti. Stalking the choicest zebra rug for miles through the wild grasslands, waiting for the opportune moment when, with the ferocity of a lion, you strike! The zebra rug is no match for your deadly, big cat skills.
Of course, the Serengeti model of "nice zebra rug" pursuit begs the question, "what happens if I offer to sell them a real zebra skin?"
Like such. Would the creepy eye-holes be too much for the sensibilities of the great zebra rug pursuer? Would the prohibitive, more-than-one-thousand (1000) dollar cost be, well, prohibitive?
Of course, if the real deal is too real we could always try something a little more...contrived, I think is the word.
No, no, it has to be black and white, how could I have forgotten.
Of course, we could always try to reconcile our differences. Can't we just have it all, pink and zebra? There must be some way....
Yes! Perfect! That must be exactly what the poster is looking for. It's like someone opened a bottle of liquid tackiness in the room and just drenched everything in sight. Anyone remember that episode of Mr. Bean where Bean tries to paint his house by jamming a lit stick of dynamite into a can of paint? Well, I'm sure you get the idea.
Of course, we could just face the fact that zebra rugs are never appropriate, ever, and sit down to a game of Transformers Monopoly.