There's certainly a touch of deseperation to the Runner-Up for today:

TRANSFORMERS MONOPOLY COLLECTOR'S EDITION - $40 (NORMAL HEIGHTS)

How does one get saddled with an unwanted board. Especially one which is apparently so offensive that THE AD MUST BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS to try and effect the most rapid possible sale. I remain glad that I have never been and will never be in such dire straits, board game wise.

Heading in the exact opposite direction, away from "desperate to get rid of" and towards "desperately wanting" we have:

WANTED: Zebra Rug-Black and White (Normal Heights)

Looking for a "nice zebra rug" is like earning a Ph.D. in Oxymoronics. If ever there were two phrases which had no place modifying each other, it were "nice" and "zebra rug."

Of course, being in "pursuit" of a zebra rug is something entirely different. "Pursuit" adds elements of danger. One cannot help but envision the thrill of the hunt on the open Serengeti. Stalking the choicest zebra rug for miles through the wild grasslands, waiting for the opportune moment when, with the ferocity of a lion, you strike! The zebra rug is no match for your deadly, big cat skills.

Of course, the Serengeti model of "nice zebra rug" pursuit begs the question, "what happens if I offer to sell them a real zebra skin?"

Like such. Would the creepy eye-holes be too much for the sensibilities of the great zebra rug pursuer? Would the prohibitive, more-than-one-thousand (1000) dollar cost be, well, prohibitive?

Of course, if the real deal is too real we could always try something a little more...contrived, I think is the word.

No, no, it has to be black and white, how could I have forgotten.

Of course, we could always try to reconcile our differences. Can't we just have it all, pink and zebra? There must be some way....

Yes! Perfect! That must be exactly what the poster is looking for. It's like someone opened a bottle of liquid tackiness in the room and just drenched everything in sight. Anyone remember that episode of Mr. Bean where Bean tries to paint his house by jamming a lit stick of dynamite into a can of paint? Well, I'm sure you get the idea.

Of course, we could just face the fact that zebra rugs are never appropriate, ever, and sit down to a game of Transformers Monopoly.

Comments

CuddleFish Oct. 28, 2009 @ 4:23 p.m.

Let Jane have her rug, sheeeeesh.

Okay, it's not my thang, it ain't yours, but it's hers!

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Adam92102 Oct. 28, 2009 @ 6:38 p.m.

Fish, it may be her thing... but why? I mean, I am trying to figure out what purpose the zebra rug serves. Is she making a porno? Having a good ol' Pretend Africa Safari in her house? Or did she have a pet zebra as a kid that died suddenly and she wants to bring back the zebra's memory? Maybe it's none of our business but we're in the business of questioning things, aren't we? I think this ad begs more questions than I want to even think of.

But Fish, I do agree that we shouldn't pick on her for her wants and desires. Wait... this ad was on Craigslist when she could easily just go to Target and find one. Nevermind. She deserves it.

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antigeekess Oct. 28, 2009 @ 10:14 p.m.

Amazing how some folks STILL have never heard of eBay.

http://shop.ebay.com/?_from=R40&_trksid=p3907.m38.l1313&_nkw=zebra+rug&_sacat=See-All-Categories

My favorite bit: "Ph.D. in Oxymoronics"

I'm stealing that one, fer sure.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 28, 2009 @ 11:05 p.m.

Have at, AG. You know you're always welcome to my pithy little witticisms :)

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 28, 2009 @ 11:12 p.m.

Pithy, as in substantial yet concise. The uttered wisdoms of the craigslist sage :)

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CuddleFish Oct. 28, 2009 @ 11:18 p.m.

Kay, just wanted to make sure you weren't lisping.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 28, 2009 @ 11:20 p.m.

I'm not David Thedarith by a long shot.

I can't even imagine trying to pronounce "witticisms" with a lisp. Oy.

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antigeekess Oct. 28, 2009 @ 11:24 p.m.

Heehee. David Thedarith.

Wittithithmth.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 29, 2009 @ 1:31 p.m.

My father, smelling irretreviably of brine..."

"after that, the carousel was off limits..."

priceless.

Oy is yiddish, Cuddley One :)

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SDaniels Oct. 30, 2009 @ 4:47 a.m.

Re: #4: Ah, did you notice, Dr. Oxymoron-?

Zebra-printed COWHIDE rugs.

But then, I only gotta B (+) plus in oxymoronics.

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