Jay Allen Sanford 8 p.m., May 25
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
Up, Up and Away...in a silver balloon
I was all set to do a blog on Rush Limbaugh, and how he was denied a chance to own an NFL team. But another story involving something filled with hot air came up.
It involved a boy who supposedly climbed into a helium filled, silver balloon. It became untethered, and the boy was soaring at 25 miles per hour…towards the Denver airport.
I was watching it live, laughing. It was better than one of those police chases all the stations cut to live.
I called my girlfriend who said, “How can you be laughing? There’s a boy inside of that.”
I said, “Yeah, that’s true. And I hope he’s okay. But, I’m wondering how a 6-year-old boy is outside, unsupervised, with idiotic parents that make hot air balloons in their backyard.”
I mean, I saw a neighbor in North Park that called the cops on someone that had a camper in their front yard. It was ticketed, too!
It’s the same as the folks that have wild animals as pets, or hell, even pit bulls. They kill their baby and everyone is shocked.
After hours of the balloon, which looked like a UFO from a low-budget movie all in silver…the thing slowly descended. Cops, ambulances, and other safety personnel…had been following the silver muffin to make sure the child would be okay.
My friend called and said, “Hey…this family is the same one that was on the reality show Wife Swap. They’re insane. They let their kids do anything. They’re the worst parents, and their kids behave so poorly.”
I was listening to my friend tell me all this, while people from places like NASA were being called, trying to decide how to get this thing to land without hurting the child inside.
There was talk of weights being put on the top of it. About a helicopter flying nearby, with a loudspeaker, telling the kid how to puncture the thing so that helium would slowly leak out and the balloon would slowly descend.
I thought of all kinds of jokes.
If the thing flew near the White House, would it be shot out of the sky? And could even that hurt Obamas approval rating? I wondered if when the boy landed safely, would everyone laugh as the father yells “You’re grounded!”
Taking away the childrens copy of the animated film "Up".
Even the kids name…it’s Falcon. Gotta be worth a few jokes there.
The father claimed to have built this thing because he’s an amateur scientist and storm chaser, and it was to be used in hurricanes (I have no clue as to how).
The child is safe. He pulled an Anne Frank and hid in the attic. And, from what my friend said about how the kids acted on Wife Swap, I’m guessing they learned nothing from the experience. And I’m sure the parents didn’t either.
So, how about fining the family for all the rescue vehicles and police that were involved? Maybe they’ll learn the hard way.
More like this:
- Menless — April 10, 2013
- 26 at work, almost time to go — March 26, 2010
- The Early Daze, part 2 — Feb. 17, 2010
- Soccer Moms Are the Absolute Worst — Jan. 9, 2008
- Is it harmful to inhale helium, and where does helium come from? — Sept. 6, 2001