Ian Anderson 5 p.m., May 22
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
Grumpy Gus Says -- I Dare You to Sue Me!
I ran into an old friend from high school and he said something I thought was a bit hurtful. He said, “I’ve seen your stories in the Reader. The parties are fun to read about. But your blog…you kinda come across as a bit grumpy.”
I immediately said “F*** you!”
Okay, I didn’t say that. But only because it would’ve proved him right.
And, it’s a complaint I’ve heard before. It’s also a complaint I’m not sure I understand completely.
People say Andy Rooney appears grumpy. And if you ever meet him, he’s a thousand times grumpier.
Yet I’m the friendliest person you’ll ever know. I help my friends move. I drive friends to airports. I go out of my way to find them the perfect card or gift, depending on the occasion.
But when I’m blogging, I usually like to pick some news item. I think it’s a bit more fun then writing that I had pancakes for breakfast, and that I used way to much syrup.
And there are so many things about celebrities or our legal system, that just tick me off. How can I not rant about it? That doesn’t mean I’m grumpy. It just means I feel passionately about my stance. It also doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind, if people post arguments I hadn’t considered.
Now, with all that being said…let the grumpiness begin.
I wake up to see Paul Shaffer on The View. The first question they ask is about Letterman, and he mentions his dad being a lawyer and how he legally can’t comment on the situation. So, this group of dingbat women ask again. I suppose they think he’ll answer on the second attempt.
Now, I don’t fault the show for booking him. Any show, would book anyone, that has anything to do with Letterman. Although, I would think that Paul would have a few clever things to say about the situation. Steve Martin did when he appeared on the various shows. And Martin has nothing to do with the Letterman show!
Then I open my email, and see a story someone has sent me about that 72-year-old woman that was tasered by the cops. At the time, I did a blog saying I was happy she got zapped. She was resisting arrest and refusing to provide the officer with information and ID. And she dared him to tase her.
Okay, maybe someone daring you to tase them doesn’t warrant it. Maybe if she double or triple-dared him. But the reason I didn’t fault the officer is because he probably didn’t have many other alternatives. Had he tackled and cuffed her, that would’ve been a PR nightmare as well.
So, what happens in this situation? This old bat gets a $40,000 settlement. Yep. Taxpayer money, going to some old lady that shouldn’t even be on the roads.
Yeah, go ahead. Call me grumpy. But I’m never going to be an old person that shouts at cops that pull me over.
I read a few emails from friends about the baseball playoffs. And I wonder…do my friends even know me? I’ve never cared for baseball.
But one of the stories I found interesting. Because, it didn’t deal with the Phillies-Rockies match-up.
Phillies slugger Ryan Howard hit his 200th home run recently. I didn’t think that was any kind of milestone, but apparently it is. He’s the fastest player in baseball to ever reach 200.
A 12-year-old girl caught the ball, but the player wanted to keep it. So he charged the stands with a baseball bat, threatening her.
Okay, I made that last line up to see if you were paying attention.
Team officials quickly brought the kid into the locker room and traded her an autographed baseball for the home run ball.
She decided she had buyers remorse (for lack of a better word). That was probably brought on by parents realizing a baseball that breaks records, also breaks records at auctions. I remember Charlie Sheen paying hundreds of thousands for the Bill Buckner ball, and that didn’t even involve a single home run!
The funny thing is that the lawyer involved, said that the girl was complaining about how she wanted the original ball, to show all her friends. Not sure why she couldn’t show her friends the autographed ball, and tell them the story. Why not just be honest, and say “The girl didn’t realize that the ball she had was worth thousands of dollars. This autographed baseball isn’t really worth much.” Sure, it doesn’t sound as good. But it’s honest. And it’s not like the BS story you throw out there, anyone with half a brain is going to believe.
The lawyer filed a lawsuit on Monday, and by the end of the day, the Phillies coughed up the original ball (yeah, right).
The only reason I’m not angrier at this girl and her family is…she was escorted to the Phillies clubhouse alone. Now, why in the world would that be allowed to happen? Hasn’t anyone heard of Jerry Lee Lewis or Roman Polanski? Or about kids that confess to things, only to have it thrown out in court because parents, guardians, and lawyers weren’t there representing the minor.
I wonder if the kid had to give back her autographed baseball. And, I also wonder…when this ball pops up on eBay, will the player that hit the homerun bid on it? And, what with this girl say her reason is for selling it?
“Oh…all my friends have seen it now. That’s why I’m selling it.”