Somebody sent Dear Abby a letter the other day, calling themselves the "San Diego Sinner." It was a teenager girl that wore thong underwear. Her and her sister are now called "sinners" by their mom.

She said it's what all the girls wear these days, and that they'd look stupid in the locker room if they weren't wearing them.

Abby went on to say how she didn't understand the thongs, because women always struggled to keep their panties from bunching up exactly where the thong is designed to go, and the feeling is really uncomfortable. Now, Abby is taking a poll on the subject. Hysterical. Of all the things to take a poll about, it's thong underwear. I think the girl should write back and say "Abby wears granny panties, Abby wears granny panties!!"

But the question before the San Diegan, was better. It's from a 13-year-old boy who says: I don't want to make my friend mad, but he does something that makes me feel weird. When we go to the mall to hang out, he always wants to go to the big stores (I love that line. I would ask "You mean 'Big Lots'?").

You know those dummies on display wearing clothes? Well, he likes to feel them up. He thinks it's cool to go up to a female dummy and feel her breasts. When he does it, he gigles. People stare and I have to leave. I told him I don't like it and he says "Whatever."

He is my best friend, and I like looking at real girls on the beach. He says that's boring and he'd rather feel up the store dummies. What's up with that? What should I do? Billy in Galveston.

Abby answers: Your friend is very immature. He is both attracted to girls and afraid of rejection. That is why he is acting out with department store mannequins who cannot tell him "Stop that, you fool. Get away from me!"

Great job there, Abby! I would've first told the kid "Dummies are what ventriliquists use, those are mannequins." And why is Abby assuming the kid likes girls? Maybe the boy doesn't like girls, but doesn't want his best friend to know that, so he overcompensates by touching mannequins and pretending to like it.

I would've told the kid he was stupid for going into department stores with his friend, if he does something like this. I might've thrown in "but...what else is there to do in Galveston?"

But it all reminded me of a few things. I once worked with someone that had a big house on the beach. And, she had mannequins all over it. I thought that was a bit bizarre. I think she thought it was cool and artistic, I dunno.

And, I remember those early teenage years and I too, did a few crazy things to mannequins. I wouldn't repeatedly touch them or anything. But there was a time or two, I grabbed a boob. Hey, why not? What other chance would a 13-year-old get to do that to 6' tall, 36-24-36?

But what I did more often, was try to make my friends laugh as we walked by them in the Walker Scott store in the mall. I'd stop and say, "Hello. Do you come here often?" Or I might say, "Are you looking at me, or David? Me? Yeah, I knew it, right when our eyes locked." One of my better lines was, "You're the tall, silent type." We'd walk away laughing.

The first time I saw a mannequin with some skimpy lingerie, my friend and I stop and stared. Our jaws dropped and eyes wide open, like Beavis & Butthead. We couldn't believe adults actually wore these things!

My friend was ready to leave before me (I'm ashamed to admit). He said something along the lines of "Dude, they're going to call store security on us." I turned my head to talk to him, without taking my eyes off the panties, and said "Do you realize that in one month, this will be worn by a real woman. And we won't have the opportunity to stare at it like this again."

I was trying to be funny. He said, "Oh yeah, you're right."

He then locked right back into stare mode. And we stood there for another minute, like those two kids in Weird Science.

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Comments

sattin Nov. 22, 2008 @ 3:07 p.m.

First of all, I thought Abby was right on with her thong comment. They are uncomfortable!
Secondly, one thing to do in Galveston is bail out water from hurricanes. Thirdly, those mannequins are a heck of a lot smaller than 36-24-36! And lastly, talking to mannequins is ok - but if they answer back, watch out!

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Bean08 Nov. 22, 2008 @ 3:27 p.m.

Abby needs to get her points of reference updated!! And the "sinner girls" need to get over what other people think ~ if they find thongs comfortable (which personally, I do!) then wear them ~ if they find grannies more comfortable then wear them ~ why should any one care what underwear you have on??

The guy in Galveston should suggest that his friend seek professional help for his perverse interest in touch mannequins.

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fifibutton Nov. 22, 2008 @ 6:55 p.m.

Ugh, thongs. What a horribly uncomfortable thing to wear. Real women don't need such contraptions.

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antigeekess Nov. 22, 2008 @ 7:06 p.m.

Fifi observed:

"Ugh, thongs. What a horribly uncomfortable thing to wear. Real women don't need such contraptions."

Fifi Goes Commando?

Wonder what the "sinner girls" mom would think about THAT.

"You were right, Mom. We decided not to wear them anymore."

:)

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NachoDaddy Nov. 22, 2008 @ 8:51 p.m.

When I was a kid, I played soccer. If our boxers did not stick out of the bottoms of our soccer shorts, the kids would point and shout, "TIGHTEY-WHITEYS! TIGHTEY-WHITEYS!" (Wait... that wasn't about race, was it?) So, I understand that locker-room feeling. Looking back, we preferred our underwear to be sticking out?

Also, until you've tongue-kissed a mannequin, you're just a novice.

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TFB Nov. 23, 2008 @ 2:10 p.m.

Who knew underwear would be such a hot topic on this blog?

What I'm wondering, is why the only choices here for women seem to be thongs or "grannies"? There are lots of cute, confortable, and sexy bikini-style undies out there for women that aren't thongs.

Also, technically speaking, there are other reasons to wear thongs besides the sex-appeal. Some people may be trying to avoid the dreaded "panty line," a fashion no-no.

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Josh Board Nov. 23, 2008 @ 6:43 p.m.

Well, initially we always heard that thongs were for the "panty line" thing. But then you'd see young women wearing them, that had jeans (and, they had to make a point of having the thong stick out, to show all the guys how sexy they were).

I remember it taking me a few years to understand what "thong" meant, because when I was a kid, that is what we called "flip flops".

I don't necessarily think the kid needed to seek help, for feeling up "dummies". He is just a teenager. He just needs to get better schtick. And, as Nacho said...take it to the next level with one of those mannequins!

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towelheadedcameljockey Nov. 25, 2008 @ 8:47 a.m.

A blog where women are telling us what type of underwear they're wearing - goodie.

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fifibutton Nov. 26, 2008 @ 1:33 p.m.

Its too cold to go commando where I live, antigeekess. A good freshly laundered pair of plain old cotton granny pants will do the trick.

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bluenwhitegokart Nov. 27, 2008 @ 4:21 a.m.

A blog without pictures is worthless, Towlie. :o)

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Josh Board Nov. 28, 2008 @ 12:57 a.m.

I kind of agree with towelie. And, a little with you bluenwhite!

Women talking about underwear they are wearing, sometimes can strike me as their attempts to turn is on, and make us think they're so risque. It's one of the reasons I think it's silly when people wear thongs, and make sure you can see them sticking out of their pants.

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antigeekess Nov. 30, 2008 @ 12:55 a.m.

"It's one of the reasons I think it's silly when people wear thongs, and make sure you can see them sticking out of their pants."

Yeah. Especially when it's a dude.

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