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Dear Abby -- Best Friends and Talking with a Mouthful

In Dear Abby the other day, someone wrote about their best friend from college, and how this woman now lives in another part of the country. She married a man that this letter writer doesn't like. She says, "He is cold and curt with me, and seems to be devoid of personality. I feel uncomfortable in his presence". (the editor in me, would explain to this woman that being "cold" actually IS a personality...it's just one you don't care for).

The lady talks about feeling uncomfortable around him, and when they visit each other, she dreads the trips. Her question?

"If I tell her I don't like him, she'll be upset. She also won't like if I stay at a hotel."

Abby answers: Your visits will no longer be two college friends getting together, because a third person has been added to the mix. From your description, he isn't particularly comfortable around you, either. And if Jade should give you an argument, as she may, that's the way you should explain it to her.

What I can't figure out about people, is why they don't tell someone if there's a mutual friend (or knew love interest), that they don't like. You can say it polite. But, how hard is it to say to the women, "Have you noticed your husband isn't very talkative? And he seems cold towards me?" If the woman agrees, no problem. You dissect that.

If the woman doesn't see it, you give examples. Not just examples of him being curt, but examples of other friends/co-workers you have, that are friendly, tell stories, and smile. This will show her, that this is what people do when they're out together. They are friendly. Even people that don't care for someone, if it's a friend of a friend, it isn't hard to smile and make conversation. If this woman doesn't see it in her husband, well then she's someone that's too much of an idiot for you to even worry about keeping as a friend. The type of women that would let her husband beat her time and time again, and do nothing about it. A woman that would let her husband dictate who she can go out with, or talk to on the phone, or who knows what else.

The next question to Dear Abby in the same "issue":

Dear Abby, I frequently dine out for business meetings. What is the proper way to react when someone asks you a question and you have just taken a bite of food or are in mid-chew? I feel I must acknowledge them, but I don't want to talk with my mouth full."

The genius asking this is from Fort Collins, Colorado. I've visited friends in that college town. I saw a few idiots, but wow...this question takes the cake.

And what is genius Abbys answer?

"Hold one hand up, palm outward. Continue chewing and swallow your food. Point out that the person "caught you with your mouth full," and then answer the question.

Really? Did we need an explanation on what to do? Did you have to explain the "palm outward"? So the person asking the question didn't think you just pointed at the person?

How stupid are people? I mean, when you're out at dinner, often times that happens. And people can see if you're chewing. If you don't answer right away, with cheeks bulging like Dizzy Gillespie, I doubt the person asking the question will say "Well? Why aren't you answering me?!"

But...I dunno. With so many idiots out there, people like Abby and Dr. Laura, will continue to get rich.

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In Dear Abby the other day, someone wrote about their best friend from college, and how this woman now lives in another part of the country. She married a man that this letter writer doesn't like. She says, "He is cold and curt with me, and seems to be devoid of personality. I feel uncomfortable in his presence". (the editor in me, would explain to this woman that being "cold" actually IS a personality...it's just one you don't care for).

The lady talks about feeling uncomfortable around him, and when they visit each other, she dreads the trips. Her question?

"If I tell her I don't like him, she'll be upset. She also won't like if I stay at a hotel."

Abby answers: Your visits will no longer be two college friends getting together, because a third person has been added to the mix. From your description, he isn't particularly comfortable around you, either. And if Jade should give you an argument, as she may, that's the way you should explain it to her.

What I can't figure out about people, is why they don't tell someone if there's a mutual friend (or knew love interest), that they don't like. You can say it polite. But, how hard is it to say to the women, "Have you noticed your husband isn't very talkative? And he seems cold towards me?" If the woman agrees, no problem. You dissect that.

If the woman doesn't see it, you give examples. Not just examples of him being curt, but examples of other friends/co-workers you have, that are friendly, tell stories, and smile. This will show her, that this is what people do when they're out together. They are friendly. Even people that don't care for someone, if it's a friend of a friend, it isn't hard to smile and make conversation. If this woman doesn't see it in her husband, well then she's someone that's too much of an idiot for you to even worry about keeping as a friend. The type of women that would let her husband beat her time and time again, and do nothing about it. A woman that would let her husband dictate who she can go out with, or talk to on the phone, or who knows what else.

The next question to Dear Abby in the same "issue":

Dear Abby, I frequently dine out for business meetings. What is the proper way to react when someone asks you a question and you have just taken a bite of food or are in mid-chew? I feel I must acknowledge them, but I don't want to talk with my mouth full."

The genius asking this is from Fort Collins, Colorado. I've visited friends in that college town. I saw a few idiots, but wow...this question takes the cake.

And what is genius Abbys answer?

"Hold one hand up, palm outward. Continue chewing and swallow your food. Point out that the person "caught you with your mouth full," and then answer the question.

Really? Did we need an explanation on what to do? Did you have to explain the "palm outward"? So the person asking the question didn't think you just pointed at the person?

How stupid are people? I mean, when you're out at dinner, often times that happens. And people can see if you're chewing. If you don't answer right away, with cheeks bulging like Dizzy Gillespie, I doubt the person asking the question will say "Well? Why aren't you answering me?!"

But...I dunno. With so many idiots out there, people like Abby and Dr. Laura, will continue to get rich.

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