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A few thoughts:

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Man, I had no idea Michelle Williams needed the work this badly.

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Man, Andrew McCarthy isn't aging too well, is he?

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Man, I had no idea Sean Bean needed the work this badly. Oh, wait - that's really Sean Bean. Apparently, one does not simply live off of Lord of the Rings residuals.

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I kind of admire the way that tagline applies to both the film and next year's main attraction at Knott's Berry Farm:

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It also helps to explain a couple of shots from the trailer. This is gonna be an awesome ride, people!

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Really, the only thing left to decide is whether going to see this film is a no-brainer or an all-brainer:

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We'll be here all week, try the veal, etc.

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