Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Five Kinds of Love by Kristen Thomas

It must have been in Cosmo that I once read "The Top Five Relationships Every Woman Should Have Before She Gets Married." Most of us have had the first kind: the quintessential first love. This is the one that sets the stage. All men that follow must measure up. I met my first love as a friend of a friend when the three of us went to see a movie. He and I didn't speak to each other the whole night, until my friend was dropping me off at my car. He asked if I would drop him off at home. I said, "yes," and my friend drove off, somewhat bewildered. We spent all night talking. He showed me his artwork. He lived in an attic space in his parents' home. It got hot. We got naked. We had sex; me, for the first time. I discovered I was multiorgasmic. We dated for almost two years, moved in together, and got engaged. It fell apart in the end, of course. He became my "measuring man."

The one-night stand is perhaps my favorite but least lasting. I was in my junior year of college, studying communications. Our eyes would meet from across the room. He was taking the same courses as I was. He would sit in the front; I would sit in the back. That's all there was for two years. On the eve of my graduation, I ran into him walking into a bar. We recognized each other and spoke for the first time. We hung out all night and eventually headed to my apartment. We attacked each other the moment the door closed. We had sex in every possible way until the sun rose. Then we ordered a pizza and ate it naked, lying on my floor. We laughed at how strange it was, the way things happened. He eventually left, and I never saw him again. He was in ROTC. A few weeks later I received a letter in the mail thanking me for being the last woman he slept with before he got married.

Next came the classic bad boy. This one provides the most excitement but lays the seeds for many issues. My bad boy spotted me crossing a room to visit a mutual friend. He pestered my friend to set us up on a blind-date BBQ thing at his house. Your basic ambush. He liked to wear black, collected guns, rode motorcycles, pumped iron, got in fights, and was on probation. The catch: he was also a hot, romantic Italian with a rocked-out bod who knew how to cook. Once he had my attention, he moved heaven and earth to woo me -- flowers, candy, stuffed bears, home cooking, and constant admiration. I heard a lot from my inner voice, warning me not to get involved with someone who moved that fast. I did it anyway. I fell deeply in love. The sex was amazing. His parents loved me. We moved in together. Then the shit hit the fan. Turned out he was a recovering alcoholic and addicted to porn. He forced me to attend his meetings and eventually convinced me that I was an alcoholic, too, because I was a drinker -- but we were talking a couple a week, at best. He insisted that I embrace his love of guns or else it wouldn't work. He pressured me to do a lot of kinky things that made me uncomfortable. He made me get rid of all my male friends because it was "a form of cheating." By the time I got out I had racked up a long list of major issues.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Next came the older man. He was 18 years my senior. I met him taking a tai chi course that he was teaching. Never in a million years would I have seen myself with him -- he was two inches shorter than me, bald, a stocky build, and three times divorced with a daughter my age. Our connection was very spiritual, and I often got lost talking for hours every night on the phone. He loved to take me out, knew how to order wine, and for the first time I felt what it was like to be treated like a woman. He never raised his voice at me, never swore, and made sure that our friendship always came first. He was an amazing artist, too, which nurtured and inspired my own talents. Sex was soft and gentle, with amazing foreplay, laughter, and intimacy. One night while making love I had a flash and saw my father in his eyes. I became repulsed and couldn't separate the image of him from my father. Not long after he began to take on a fatherly role in my life, controlling and managing. The age difference finally came between us, and it was over.

Then there was the younger man. He was ten years my junior. I met him at work. We became great friends and got along well. We kept in touch through e-mail and phone calls after I moved on from that job. The conversations eventually got steamy, and the friendship and chemistry came together. We shared an amazing connection in every way. Though the sex was exciting, what made it special was how effortless everything seemed to be. He told me he loved me and that I was his soul mate. He stands out for me as the sweetest experience, one that renewed my faith in relationships. I began to see having children as a possibility for the first time and took heart that friends could become even better lovers. Much to my disappointment, we were each heading in a different direction in life, in a way that made it impossible for things to continue.

Now that the list is complete, I wonder, "Where is my magic man?" That man I'm supposed to live my life with? Cosmo never said anything about how to find that guy. But no matter what happens, I've experienced these relationships that have been essential pieces in finding myself as I go down this strange and funny road of life.

Tell us the story of your breakup and/or date from hell and we will publish it and pay you ($100 for 500-2000 words).

E-mail story to
[email protected]
Or mail to:
San Diego Reader/Dumped
Box 85803
San Diego, CA 92186

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

The Digital Currency Wave Hits the Shores of San Diego

Next Article

Mid-range fleet scoring bluefin limits off Ensenada

Rockfish to open at all depths April 1st (no foolin’)

It must have been in Cosmo that I once read "The Top Five Relationships Every Woman Should Have Before She Gets Married." Most of us have had the first kind: the quintessential first love. This is the one that sets the stage. All men that follow must measure up. I met my first love as a friend of a friend when the three of us went to see a movie. He and I didn't speak to each other the whole night, until my friend was dropping me off at my car. He asked if I would drop him off at home. I said, "yes," and my friend drove off, somewhat bewildered. We spent all night talking. He showed me his artwork. He lived in an attic space in his parents' home. It got hot. We got naked. We had sex; me, for the first time. I discovered I was multiorgasmic. We dated for almost two years, moved in together, and got engaged. It fell apart in the end, of course. He became my "measuring man."

The one-night stand is perhaps my favorite but least lasting. I was in my junior year of college, studying communications. Our eyes would meet from across the room. He was taking the same courses as I was. He would sit in the front; I would sit in the back. That's all there was for two years. On the eve of my graduation, I ran into him walking into a bar. We recognized each other and spoke for the first time. We hung out all night and eventually headed to my apartment. We attacked each other the moment the door closed. We had sex in every possible way until the sun rose. Then we ordered a pizza and ate it naked, lying on my floor. We laughed at how strange it was, the way things happened. He eventually left, and I never saw him again. He was in ROTC. A few weeks later I received a letter in the mail thanking me for being the last woman he slept with before he got married.

Next came the classic bad boy. This one provides the most excitement but lays the seeds for many issues. My bad boy spotted me crossing a room to visit a mutual friend. He pestered my friend to set us up on a blind-date BBQ thing at his house. Your basic ambush. He liked to wear black, collected guns, rode motorcycles, pumped iron, got in fights, and was on probation. The catch: he was also a hot, romantic Italian with a rocked-out bod who knew how to cook. Once he had my attention, he moved heaven and earth to woo me -- flowers, candy, stuffed bears, home cooking, and constant admiration. I heard a lot from my inner voice, warning me not to get involved with someone who moved that fast. I did it anyway. I fell deeply in love. The sex was amazing. His parents loved me. We moved in together. Then the shit hit the fan. Turned out he was a recovering alcoholic and addicted to porn. He forced me to attend his meetings and eventually convinced me that I was an alcoholic, too, because I was a drinker -- but we were talking a couple a week, at best. He insisted that I embrace his love of guns or else it wouldn't work. He pressured me to do a lot of kinky things that made me uncomfortable. He made me get rid of all my male friends because it was "a form of cheating." By the time I got out I had racked up a long list of major issues.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Next came the older man. He was 18 years my senior. I met him taking a tai chi course that he was teaching. Never in a million years would I have seen myself with him -- he was two inches shorter than me, bald, a stocky build, and three times divorced with a daughter my age. Our connection was very spiritual, and I often got lost talking for hours every night on the phone. He loved to take me out, knew how to order wine, and for the first time I felt what it was like to be treated like a woman. He never raised his voice at me, never swore, and made sure that our friendship always came first. He was an amazing artist, too, which nurtured and inspired my own talents. Sex was soft and gentle, with amazing foreplay, laughter, and intimacy. One night while making love I had a flash and saw my father in his eyes. I became repulsed and couldn't separate the image of him from my father. Not long after he began to take on a fatherly role in my life, controlling and managing. The age difference finally came between us, and it was over.

Then there was the younger man. He was ten years my junior. I met him at work. We became great friends and got along well. We kept in touch through e-mail and phone calls after I moved on from that job. The conversations eventually got steamy, and the friendship and chemistry came together. We shared an amazing connection in every way. Though the sex was exciting, what made it special was how effortless everything seemed to be. He told me he loved me and that I was his soul mate. He stands out for me as the sweetest experience, one that renewed my faith in relationships. I began to see having children as a possibility for the first time and took heart that friends could become even better lovers. Much to my disappointment, we were each heading in a different direction in life, in a way that made it impossible for things to continue.

Now that the list is complete, I wonder, "Where is my magic man?" That man I'm supposed to live my life with? Cosmo never said anything about how to find that guy. But no matter what happens, I've experienced these relationships that have been essential pieces in finding myself as I go down this strange and funny road of life.

Tell us the story of your breakup and/or date from hell and we will publish it and pay you ($100 for 500-2000 words).

E-mail story to
[email protected]
Or mail to:
San Diego Reader/Dumped
Box 85803
San Diego, CA 92186

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Not enough Readers in Mission Beach

Mayor Todd Gloria's skin color
Next Article

Celebrate Holi, Borrego Springs Music Festival

Events March 23-March 27, 2024
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.