It's funny how when you're young you think everything is forever and every guy you date is the one. That's the mistake I made with Josh.
We met at work. He would have parties at his apartment every weekend, which at the time was cool since we were 18, and he was the only one I knew that wasn't living at home with his parents. One day at the end of my shift he asked me if I would like to come to his party that night.
I was thrilled. I had always had a crush on him. I went to that party and a few others that followed. For weeks we stayed up all night talking on the phone and hanging out and then one day he asked me to be his girlfriend. We were together about a year, and he suggested we move in together. He said he wanted me to be the first thing he saw every morning and the last thing he saw every night. He was very sweet. How could I resist?
A week later I moved in. I knew going into the relationship that he was friends with all of his ex-girlfriends. He talked to all of them all the time. I figured that was just the kind of person he was, and I had never had reason not to trust him. I should also mention that his sister was going through a messy divorce, so she would call late or spend the night at our apartment so she wouldn't be alone, which didn't bother me.
One night we were getting ready to go to bed -- it was about 1:30 in the morning. His cell phone went off. I asked who was calling this late, and he said it was his sister, and he ignored the call. The phone rang again, and I insisted that he answer it -- if it was his sister calling then she must need to talk. Again, he said no. The phone went off three more times. I didn't sleep all night; I had a feeling he was lying because he had never ignored her calls before.
When he got up to take a shower in the morning I looked at his phone. There were missed calls and text messages from his ex-girlfriend saying how much fun she had with him the other night and how she wished they could spend every night together and how much she loved him. There were several more explicit messages as well.
When he got out of the shower I confronted him. I told him that I went through his phone and saw the messages. He yelled and screamed many horrible things and said I was wrong for invading his privacy and that he couldn't be with me anymore because he couldn't trust me. I was in shock! This coming from the guy who was sleeping with his ex-girlfriend behind my back! I packed my things and moved out.
I look back on it now and know I should have known better, but that's what you do when you're young and you think you're in love. I ran into him a few years later, and we had coffee and talked about it. He apologized, but I had to thank him for teaching me a valuable lesson -- I learned to trust my instincts. If you think something is not right, it probably isn't.
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