Once I had a clue/ About this life & you/ I thought eventually/ That there would surely be/ A fairy tale version/ Of crazy you & me./ But never is too long/ & forever is no song/ We are leaves/ …

There are two commercial advertising campaigns currently as hot as any others on what were formerly the free American television airwaves, but which are now mostly the costly private property of cable monarchs, among them some pasty guy who is, …

seasons colors clothing hair habits choices appearances realities weeks years loves likes scenery faces time places everything anything we they desire people progress minds bodies…

What is money? My car. And sex. And? Feelings of discomfort and anguish. Is that all? Bottlecaps. And maybe thumb-tacks. All correct, my dear. You are truly wise. I’m not really a genius or anything. Let’s not get carried away. …

you are a simple, elegant sentence: “she is quiet, smart and patient.” verbs may evade you, but adjectives do not: loving, tolerant, enduring, steady, lovely. lovely. my love. you are. there is a verb. paragraphs cannot capture you, nor even …

tomatoes are not vine for me, they wither like commie raisins in revolt; my thumb is not green, it is a city shade of soot & a pinkie to boot. i put plants in the ground like the undertaker puts …

I’m on my back in the middle of the street. I can smell the shit on the asphalt. My palm feels raw as a shredded radish; The asphalt shit is ground into my blood, I think, & it will give …

(LYRICIST'S/AUTHOR'S NOTE: Forgive the silence, if anyone is out there, I don't know where I've been. Lost in the summer fog of the northern San Francisco peninsula. Story or stories to come soon, or late, or whenever they are ready …

(Lyricist's note: these lyrics accompany the story "A Typo of a Peculiar Type." Also, I can neither sing nor play an instrument, and generally I am about as musical as a Winnebago, so you will have to conjure, or imagine, …

They say I should do the interview with the television lady. That it will help humanize the job, and thus the Law. I don’t know why. It is as human as anything else, whether I comment on it or not, …

I stared at those bottles of vodka and tequila and bourbon for what could’ve been ten minutes. The tequila was good, too. Patron Silver. But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to be drunk for this woman. If getting …

To my dismay, I was only able to cruise I-5 in re-energized contentment for several minutes, before what had been fairly smooth sailing turned into a barely moving jam. Big rigs lined the right lane as far as I could …

Instead of typing “Ashland” into the search engine box (Ashland as in Oregon), I had mistakenly entered “Assland.” This may have been, at that moment, merely a small clerical error, but it would forever alter the course of my existence. …

My husband, Scott, is a financial genius. Not because he’s made us millions, but merely because he’s made us a thousand so far. And that’s enough to keep us happy. At least for another few months here in La Mesa. …

(Editor’s Note: all surviving pages from this diary were found by nine year-old Jiffy Krondinkle of Prairie Doom, Oklahoma, and they appear here with the permission of Jiffy’s parents, Kinky and Darfinia. Though their names might suggest that the Krondinkles …

I was censoring boobs for The Mouse. Seems like something they would’ve had to hire someone for back in the less uptight 70’s or 60’s, or the insane 2000’s, not the Reagancrap preppy 80’s. But they didn’t have cameras on …

Got my OccupySF piece in the SF/Bay Guardian. Always nice to get a byline. And here's a photo link. Forgive the sloppy way they kind of threw it up online, what can I say. I should be back with something …

I began the week a brooding and self-pitying writer, who was spending far too much time sucking on sour grapes until they were bitter raisins. I even went back and forth via email with an editor who had rejected one …

Mrs. Marti Brewer-Bodner, Deputy Undersecretary, U.S. Dept. of Education I have already cried, three hours worth alone here in my office on Maryland Avenue. I have an unobstructed view of the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum across the street, …

(NOTE: Since the writing of this piece, the government has amended their indictment, accusing FullTilt, many of whose players still haven't gotten their money back, of being a "global ponzi scheme." Renowned players and FullTilt principles Howard Lederer, whose father …