Brandon Hernández 8 a.m., Jan. 30
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
Candy-O, I Need You
Old people complaining about giving out candy; and a married couple celebrates...in a weird way.
A few things about Halloween candy. I heard a couple older ladies complaining about kids trick or treating that are too old. Suggestion: if you get that worked up over who you are giving candy to, just turn your lights out and don't participate. One lady said "If the kids don't have good costumes, I only give them one piece. A good costume, they get two. And the good candy bars." Oh brother.
If you must, why not have those little mints that you get for free at restaurants. Give those to the 18-year-olds, until they realize it's not worth their time.
Here's a Halloween story I heard and had to share:
A wife was getting suspicious of her husbands "late night" poker games every few weeks.
Well, he was going to a second Halloween party. He and his wife had gone to one earlier, in bear costumes. The wife was beat and stayed home. But, she decided to put on a mask, and go see how her husband behaves when she isn't around.
She shows up an hour later, and the bear is running around, grabbing women, and flirting with everyone in sight.
She goes up to the bear, grabs his hand, brings him into the bathroom. They have sex, and she never takes her mask off. Nor does he.
She then goes home. Takes a shower. And waits on the bed. The husband comes home, without his bear suit. She asks how the party was. He says, "You know how I hate those things. Even more so, when you aren't there."
She said, "Really? So...you didn't have fun?"
He responded, "Yeah, well...I had fun. But that's because me and a few of the poker guys decided to go play in the backroom. I even won $40."
She sarcastically says, "You must've looked weird bluffing people in a bear suit."
He said, "Oh, no. I didn't have it on. I gave it to my dad. He said he had the time of his life."